A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My new girlfriend and I have known each other for 5 months and been going out with for 6 weeks, she told me today she got a dildo as a gift from co-worker... apparently not as a joke either. We are yet to embark on the sexual side of our relationship and I am rather insecure about myself in that respect as I am incredibly inexperienced with sexual encounters. I know I shouldn't but I can't help but be worried and intimidated by a blooming sex toy that my girlfriend is waving around me! should I be concerned or just get over it? Should I mention my concerns? It kind of worries me to think of her having fun with that when barely know what to do with her to please her!
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co-worker, dildo, insecure, sex toy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 anon is right on! don't worry be happy. whatever she does in privacy is her business
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): everybody has or had one women in their life that "showed them the ropes".i would say just jump in with both feet and go for a grat ride and never look back.i would say that the dildo was kind of a hint, and dont let this pass you by or you'll be kicking yourself for the rest of your male years to come!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): Don't worry, be happy, your gf looks very healthy. You are yet to embark... telling she has a dildo feels very clear as an invitation to jumb on board.
She knows already that you are insecure about the sexual part, so tell her and ask 'r help to make of you her perfect lover and also ask her what you can do to make her forgetting she has a dildo somewhere...
I am sure that it will not take so long that you will be amazed about your self-esteem.
And if she is directing you, use your imagination and creativity to suprise her. remember that the way she is touching you, she might me touched in about the same way. (So give back a bit more than you get and she will be suprised about her pupil :))
Wish you a great time together
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (18 December 2008):
guys need to look at sex toys as a fun thing, not something to be scared of. most girls have some sort of toy. it's no different to you guys using your hands on yourself. you should embrace the sex toy. lol. make it part of the fun when you do eventually get there. dont see it as another penis. it's just something fun. get over the problem of it being another penis! it's not, it's just abit of magical rubber shaped like a penis. it does not replace your penis!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 December 2008):
You should only be as insecure about this as she is about your hand.
I'm sure you know that what you do on your own is nothing compared to the real thing.
Just because you haven't been in bed with hundreds of women doesn't mean you can't please her. Every woman is different so you need to learn what each one likes individually anyway.
When you take it to the next step just relax and you'll be fine.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 I understand how you must feel but honestly its just a toy and even though its physically stimulating and all it does not give a woman emotional satisfaction. Women need more then just physical satisfaction, we need emotional stuff too, we need closeness, she will never get those things from a piece of plastic, so dont feel intimidated. Remember that the biggest sex organ is the brain not........She needs both physical and mental stimulation for an awesome experience. When the time is right, work on both those things, dont worry about a stupid piee of plastic(its never the same as the real thing)
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A
male
reader, sommerslover  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 Instead of being intimidated by a sex toy, offer to help her use it. This way you can learn as you go. A dildo can be used as a stand-in, but nothing beats the real thing.
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A
male
reader, askJAY  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 gosh man...advice can't help you fix your insecurity. you need experience and if she knows that you aren't experienced and hasn't voiced any disappointment, then use the opportunity for her to teach you how to pleasure her and have fun with her. this could be a fantastic opportunity for you two.
FORCE yourself not to feel inadequate in any way, especially don't feel inadequate for lack of sexual experience. that either means you aren't a slut, or it means you're hideous to look at and haven't had advances...in which case, your girl can't be too much of a beauty queen either, probably having insecurities of her own. ANYWAY...
just change your thought patterns man!! think of how much fun you and her can have...and communicate this to her. don't ruin the relationship with guessing games.
ciao
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