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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, i have known this girl for about 8 months now. We talk most nights and text during the day. Its been established that we really do like eachother just we live too far away. I live near london and she lives near York. My last relationship with a girl was long distant and it didnt work out. I want to be with her so badly but i know if we had some kind of relationship, i would just end up losing her completely. She is hopefully coming down to uni next year relatively near where i live. Recently we have been having some arguments or little fights whenever she goes out to a party over the phone because she thinks i dont care about her. I have sent her presents and always been here for her to talk too when shes needed it but she wont understand. I know she likes me alot. It just seems we are always the happiest people in the world when we get on but then we become the saddest when we argue, but we always get back on our feet. We sometimes ask each other if we are in love but we are not certain as neither of us have been in love before. what do you think we should do? and could it be love? thankyou so much
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male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (28 October 2006):
 I am in a long distance realationship. I am in Liverpool, she is in Scotland. We see each other a couple of times per month. It is hard being far apart, but the times spent together are much more special.
We are engaged and our love gets stronger every day. The distance probably makes us love each other more to the point of being painful.
I think you are in love, but do not appear to trust each other very much. I think you both have a lot of talking to do and work on a mutual understanding.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2006): I hate to say this to someone so hopeful, but relationships are not mean to be lived separated. It goes against the very definition.
As a teenager, I tried this REPEATEDLY with girls I met on various school trips, etc. It never worked.
My personal opinion is that long distant relationships are pacifiers (no insult intended) that keep us sane and feeling loved until someone local comes along that meets our standards and returns our affection. As soon as that happens for one of you, it's over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006): oh my god. Did I write that?! I live in Scotland and my boyfriend is in London. I have had my doubts about the distance but the bottom line is I love him and I don't want anyone else. I love him for who he is, not where he is. I think you should give it a go, as long as there is trust, honesty and communication between you I can't see why it wouldn't work if you genuinely care about each other. of course it may not work, but there is no guarantee in any relationship. Even if she lived 5 minutes from you, there still is not a guarantee the relationship would work out. And about the love thing, as a general rule, if you have to ask, you're not in love. When you are in love you know! So only you know if you love her or not.
best of luck, and i wish you all the happiness in the world with her.
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