A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I have an issue at work place. One of my coworker who is a guy plays all kinds of mind games. He pretended has a crush on me for some time (We are both in long term relationships) After pushing him back as much as possible for quite some time and avoiding him, we started to be normal. I realized that he plays this game of crushes with other girls as well. I thought he should be OK with me and accepted that I am not into crush game thing and maybe we can be just normal coworker and so I started to treat him normally. He even acted helpful and normal and friendly with me, which gave me hopes that I can consider him as a nice coworker. Alas! one day, out of nowhere he started ignoring me when I was arriving and was the time for saying good morning. His new game was ignoring me at the morning greeting time but being OK and normal the rest of the day. I think that there is some thing really wrong with this guy and he can't handle a normal relationship at work place. He needs to play mind games to make people confused and mad to feel in power. This boosts his ego. He has a very low self confidence. I should add that he has some good knowledge in many things and although he gets good compliments on them and he likes it still it does not seem as enjoyable as these mind games to him. I also noticed once I ignored him big time, he changed his game and stopped ignoring me. My question is how to handle this guy coworker? Should I ignore him more than what he does to me to satisfy him and make him stop the ignoring game towards me? should I keep saying good mornings and good byes and pretend I do not know what is happening ( i did it for some time and he makes it worse and worse until he sees a reaction ( me ignoring him big time) ). This is so sick. Please help me! I do not have the option of avoiding him or anything. We all work in one room closely. I would really appreciate your advices!Thanks,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): I am the OP. Thanks auntie for the answer. It is a bit more complicated. Now this guy with a girl who is his new crush are bullying me. And then go to her close friend and make her help them against me. Mostly about ignoring at the greeting times. I know as you said I should do the right thing and do my part for greetings and leave it. But it is annoying as I see they keep themslves talking with each other when greeting time and If I say something they do not answer as like I intrupted them impolitely And if I dont say anything and pass, they say goodorning loudly as I didnt say it on purpose. Both ways I am at fault! The guy knows that that girl is sensitive to me because she could see that he was after me, so he is using her jelousy and makes office politics and bullying out of it. It is not a comfortable environment, auntie...any other advice?
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (1 October 2013):
 I honestly think you're spending too much time worrying about this guy.
He's clearly strange and playing mind games but why should you care?
You may work closely with him in a room with others but ultimately you're paid to work.
Rise above it and just go to work to work. If you see him be polite and say good morning as you do to everyone else, if he ignores you, that's HIS problem not yours.
Don't waste your working day trying to make small talk or flatter him to make him like you or be nice to you. Just get on with your work and only talk to him when you have too with work related questions or info.
At the end of your day say goodbye to him as you do everyone else.
If he wants to sulk, pout, muck about, flirt or ignore you then let him get on with it. He's behaving like a silly child and, trust me, others will have noticed.
Don't lower yourself to his level. Be the adult and just get on with what you're paid to do and enjoy the company of other co-workers who are adult enough not to play stupid mind games in the workplace.
I hope this helps AB x
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