A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts... Well i have a little problem.. I have been seeing some one from work! We havent actually done anything and i dont know what he wants.. It started like this.. A couple of weeks ago i was out in town with a friend and we seen some people from work! ( the managers) so we all had a drink and a laugh! Then this male started to flirt and i was quite drunk so i flirted back... To cut a really long story short.. we exchanged a few emails... then texts then phone calls and he sed he isnt happy with his wife and he wants some fun back in his life! he is 32 i am 25! So he was like we should meet up so i said yes ok ( i know he is married but i really like him) but then he said he couldnt do that to his wife.. So i left it alone for a couple of days then he txt me saying he wanted me. I really dont know wat to do! Weather to go ahead and maybe sleep with him.. or just to walk away! Help
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female
reader, ladymiss  +, writes (5 May 2009):
Say that you would love to have him too, but since hes married, and your not that type of a girl, to leave u alone and find another victim. And that you have no time for two-timers, and cheaters. And if theres smth wrong in his marriage, than to work on it or get divorceD, and not look for the affairs outside of marriage. Ask him, why he cant seem to do that to his wife but can to you though?? What makes HER better than you?? Afterall shes married to CHEATING BASTARD. Dont even feel sorry for her, she probably knows abt his affairs and tolerates it, and is probably having someone on the side as well. I diont know whos worse, him or his wife. And you girl-stay away from him. Your young, go find urself a decent YOUNG & SINGLE man, not some LOSER.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): Am I the only woman with a sex drive. I'm married and seeing a married man from work and it's fantastic. It's given my marriage the zip that I'd lost.
Go for it girl - but take care and be prepared for some tears.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Yes. He wants you. I guess he wants some excitement in his life because be probably feels that he is in a rut. But he loves his wife and will never leave her. Plus, if you get into an affair with him, he will certainly hurt you, and deliberately too!!
Been there, done that. Get out even before you get in!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): Hi Hunny
This is a late answer and you may have already gone down that road, But my advise to you love would be NO! As he will be using you and hurting his wife and then it will get all sticky and shitty and its not really a happy situation to be in hunny..He may be nice but he cant be that kind to be wanting to cheat on his wife and once he does it there is no turning back with the guilt and by the sounds of it he feels that but lust is taking over at the mo, Its very rare for a man to leave his wife, it happens but if he has said he couldnt do that to his wife he loves her really and it could screw with both of your heads in the end hun...TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): This is not really about this man and if he is anything you want. It is really something you need to consider if you feel you are that type of women.Honey, I could give you all the reasons why he is a shit, or about to be one, but you already know that he is really not something special for you to waste your attentions on.Don't think along the lines of 'I really like him, what should I do", ask yourself what you will be if you carry on with this flirtation and very dangerous relationship. He is married, you know that....All I can advise is that if he was your husband how would you feel about him if you knew what he was up to.Please, just stop and think about who you are and what you stand for. Are you okay with knowing that this could end up hurting lots, and lots of peoples lives. Why, because you fancy him? Be a women who has the balls to tell a married man that it is not on, and think about how many, many reasons this relationship is already doomed.The other aunts are totally correct in letting you know that his opinion of his marriage and what is going on is more than likely bullshit, equally it is not what you should be considering, that is his life not yours. So you only need to consider if you are that type of women, who is happy to be an affair, fuckbuddie, bit on the side and potentially a participant as a homewrecker.It would be doing yourself and others a huge favour to say to him, NO. Not into it, I am not that type of girl!.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): You said it yourself "he is a married man" and no matter what happens or how unhappy he is with his wife and family life - he will never leave her!! How would you feel if you were his wife and found out what he was up to? you wouldn't be impressed with him either or the other party!!! You will end up wasting all your young life on this loser waiting for him to leave his wife and by the time you realise he wont - you will be a middle aged woman, sad and alone and no family, that he was only using you for sex and thats the bottom line of it. In all honesty you do what to do and that is to walk away and not get involved with him. No doubt there are plenty of younger guys your own age who are available and would only love the chance to go out with you.
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Hey hunny.
So if your asking if its ok to sleep with him my answer to you is no...don't do it. he's married and you don't want your life complicated.
But...if all you see in this is a one night stand, then the only thing stopping you are your morals. If you and he can live with sleeping with each other and let this go afterwards, then there's no problem. But will it be for one night? If you do it more than one night, you will be emotionally attached, and thats the danger here. Its not the sex...its what comes after the sex..the feelings the emotions, and on his part the breaking of his trust with his wife that are at stake here.
If he were just a guy i met one night and wanted to sleep with that one time, all is good, we made each other happy and bye bye. We never see each other again and it was fun. But this is a guy you see at work everyday. And you are already starting to have feelings for him arent you? . If thats the case, don't do this, girl. Married men bring complications. And i don't think sex with him is about you being used...objectively he's being used too, if you are enjoying it. It does take two to tango.
In my roundabout way im telling you though not to pursue this. Go find a bloke who’s available and do you better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): Imagine you are with a lovely guy, married to him in fact and things have gone a bit stale...you know the reality of life like the cleaning, cooking, shopping and work are all getting you down and basically you are tired out. Your husband is more interested in the football and quite honestly you're just glad to get out with the girls for a pizza on a Friday night. Although this situation is dull it is at least a marriage and from time to time the basic love you feel is a comfortable, stable and solid existence that is like an anchor - it keeps you strong and able to carry on with whatever life throws at you. There is something magical about the famililarity. Then...out of the blue you find a text message on your husbands phone from some woman. You realise your husband has behaved differently lately and now you know why. Your life is shattered. The man you thought you knew has just destroyed everything that was wholesome in your life in one go. If you are prepared to do this to another woman my dear then go right ahead. But one day be prepared for it to happen to you. I don't think you have a 'little problem' at all. I think you have a choice. Stop pretending you don't.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Grow up!! He's married and fancies some little tart on the side. Have a bit of respect for yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): well.first he is too old for you!!!and leave married couples alone because if you go out with him think about how is wife will feal and have some respect!!!!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (13 February 2008):
 I agree with Tellulah. What a good way of putting it. I will be a bit more boring with my reply, but prob means pretty much the same thing!
Blimey talk about walking into trouble!
You wanted to meet up because 'you like him?' Hes married!
What happened to female solidarity, geez....
Be stronger and find someone thats available.
Im a bit surprised you posted this, because i am sure you know what people are going to say, because there is no other answer you could expect?!
You're selling yourself short and heading for heartbreak if you go along with this.
He sounds like a right rat.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Blah Blah!! Im not happy with my wife, she's is no fun anymore. How many times have you heard this speech.
You would think that they could come up with something more original by now.
This is how it should go.
"My wife is really tired looking after our kids, and clearing up after me, because I am to lazy to pick up my dirty pants off the floor. She does everything for me but I am bored with her, so I decided to shag you instead. I would like this with no atatchment and although I will tell you that I deeply care for you, in fact I wont. The reason for this will be that I dont want to lose my house and all I have worked for. I may want another shag however, but if this gets awkward for me, you will have to leave work and never bother me again". I may even tell you "I love you and will leave my wife when my kids are a little older". Again this is very likely to be a lie, and I just want more sex.
If you value yourself, then dont bother with this man. The fact he changed his mind about 2 timming his wife is easy to explain. I bet you anything, they had a row.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (13 February 2008):
 It is in your best interest to stay away from this guy, you asked what do you think he want, you wont like this but i will tell you, he want to have sex with you, and just use you for his own selfish pleasure, then when he has had enough of you he will dump you and go on to the next woman he meets and do the same again,he will tell you all kinds of things that you really want to hear,I love you, you are the best thing that has ever happen to me, and it is all a tissue of lies, he will never leave his wife.
He is a user and will continue to use you until it suits his purpose,you really do not want that type of pain in your life, leave married guys a lone, and find some one who will love you, and wont use you as a sexual object.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Honey... Leave a married man alone. It is not in your best interest, trust me.
There are many factors you should consider when dealing with a married man:
He could just want a fling on the side. You never know, you may NOT be the first or the last one. He may use you just for sex, and after he gets tired of you, he will move on to the Next Conquest. You will feel embarrassed, cheap, and used.
Have regards for his wife. If he were YOUR husband, how would you feel if he were doing these things behind your back, the way he is doing it to her?
He may have kids. Think of them, and how it would be if they lost their father. Having a "stepfather" afterwards is NO fun. I know this from experience. His kids need a stable home to grow up in, so that they can have a positive future.
Walk away from this thing, there are plenty of single men out there. Don't take someone elses' man away from them. Have some morals and empathy for the wife. Please.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 February 2008):
 You should walk away and you know it.
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