A
male
age
30-35,
*yan S
writes:HeyyIn december last year when i was on windows messenger, this girl randomly started a conversation with me. I had no idea who she was or anything, but we started to speak. Although it was just online, we got on really well. She was 15 and I was 16, and i thought we had really good chemistry. We swapped mobile numbers, and texted until the early hours of the morning.That night when we were texting, she said that i was really cute, loved the way i ws (e.g. personality), wanted me to come snuggle up with her as it was cold. We spoke the next day, and it hasn't stopped.Soon on, she 'fell in love with me', and told me that often, she still does. I known love is something that does take a while to develop, but i myself was starting to really fall for her. A week later I asked if we could meet up, but as it was near christmas she couldn't. I understood completely, so I didn't ask again. then, in Janurary her grandmother died so I didn't ask to meet due to them reasons.Through that time though, I was there for her to speak to and that. She constantly told me she loved me, and i said the same back. By february, she still couldn't meet, as I had asked once or twice. Everytime it was a no. I did say that we will have to meet soon, and she agreed, but never followed through with it.Now in April, we seem to still be really close. The other day she said I'm the boy she's in love with, but can i be sure she means it? Although she has a job and lives around 15 miles away, surely she could make the time to meet? I just feel that if she loves me she would want that, but thats obviously not the case. I do worry that she's either speaking to other lads as well, or maybe just wants me as someone to talk to? I want more as I feel so lonely, like all my friends at school are busy with their own lives and that so I don't really have anyone. Everytime I try to speak to someone, they just brush it over and change the subject.All I want is someone else opinion and maybe some advice, as I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to ask her directly about it, but the fear of upsetting her makes me think that it may be better to just see how it goes. Any reply would be really appreciated as I just feel stuck about what's going on and what could be going on. I do worry that if we did meet that we may not like each other as much in person, but thats a risk I am personally willing to take. If we did meet, we could really like each other like we seem to do online. I would love to have a relatonship with her if thats the case, before I go to university. So, any reply would be great, I just want to see what someone else thinks. I can then have a clearer mindset and will hopefully make a decision on what to do next.ThanksRyan
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ryan S +, writes (8 April 2010):
Ryan S is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank everyone loads for answering the question, I feel a lot clearer about things than I did. All the answers have given me a lot to think about, from different perspectives.
Once again, all the replies are much appreciated
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): This reminds me of a situation I was once in. I met this guy online, it was nothing at the start but we just started chatting loads. We really took to one another and we ended up speaking every night for hours and hours.
In the end he wanted to meet up with me badly. I didn't want to just from the pure fact I'm such a shy person and I was terrified we wouldn't like each other the same as we did online, or he wouldn't like me. Plus I wasn't really keane on the whole idea of meeting someone off the internet. It got to a point where he almost begged me everyday to meet up.
A year went by and I gave in and said okay because my parents went on holiday so I invited him round to my house where as two of my other friends were here too, he lived 12 miles away. We ended up liking each other more in real life in the end and we're still together now! and I'm still in love with him.
I think this could mean a few reasons why she hasn't met up with you yet. She might feel the same as I did.. shy, worried or scared you two will not like each other. OR the pure fact she's only young and she's a little afraid because you hear of all sorts about young girls meeting people off the net and getting murdered etc, you could be anyone in reality. I think she does care and like you alot, but the incecurity is getting the better of her. Have you been on cam and talked to her on the phone? I think you should, make sure she knows you are really who you say you are.
I'm not saying it is but it COULD be that she's lonley her self and just loves your company and she's got someone there to always talk to. I think you should tell her straight how you feel about meeting up, because you're not going to get anywhere if you don't talk to her about it. Communication is key!!
All the best.
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A
female
reader, sweetspicy  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 After reading your question I have come to 2 conclusions my first theory is that she enjoys talking to and finds it comforting but this doesnt say much about her, is it possible that she hasnt been completely honest with you possiblly her appearence or age something she could be embarrased about.
She may also just be playing it safe in not knowing who you are so she keeps her distance. You should try and find a common intrest between the both of you. Try to get a group thing going. For instance 5-6 of your friends and you meet with 5-6 of her friends and her then if things get wierd it wont be just you and her alone. When you meet you should try and plan for an event like a concert, movies, mall, carnival so there will be other people around. My further advise if that works is to keep doing group things till you know her well enough to go on a one on one date.
Hope this helped, good luck!
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