A
female
age
30-35,
*eo3
writes:im 18 years old and just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months who was 21. after 3 months of dating he asked me to move to FL with him because he was going to school and originally i said no, and then he got really upset and gave me this whole schpeal about how he didnt want to be alone and cried (which i later learned he did a lot of) so i changed my mind and decided to go. in the couple months we left for FL we had been fighting a lot about the future, about my smoking habit, about my friends, etc. and eventually we were fighting every day. the month before we went to FL i left for a month with my family to go to CA. during that time we still fought a lot and he slipped into depression because i was gone. so every night we were either fighting or i listened to him cry and beg me to come back sooner. my mom and friends saw how exhausted all of it was making me and advised me not to go to FL with him, but in the end i did. we met back in MA and drove down to FL. it was a total of 2 weeks. and sometimes it was great and we had a lot of fun, but there was a good chunk of the time that we were fighting or he wouldnt talk to me almost always because i snuck a cigarette even though i was "quitting" he would get so mad at me for it he would walk out of the apt and tell me to go "f*** myself". the cigarette thing i kind of understood. but then he started to tell me to change my clothes and who we were and werent hanging out with. and he didnt so much tell me what to do as much as make me feel guilty about things or give me the silent treatment. now im not claiming to be innocent in all of this, i can be very defiant and have a bad temper, and sometimes would intentionally piss him off. i came back to CA about a wk ago for my dads retirement and since ive been gone hes been really drunk and really depressed. there was really nothing for me in FL, all my money is gone from the trip and school cost too much. plus he had proposed to me on the trip and i dont feel ready for that kind of commitment right now, i just graduated hs and hav no clue what im doing with my life. so last night i broke up with him, telling him i wasnt ready for tht kind of relationship and that i needed to figure myself out before i came back to him. he was really upset and at first cried (as i expected) and then was really angry (also expected) and kept telling me i broke his heart and he was going to throw all of my stuff away, and after he cooled off he decided we might be able to stay friends. i keep telling myself that it was the right thing to do, and everyone else says the same thing. but i feel terrible about huirting him, and i know that im going to miss him terribly because besides all of the fighting and problems we had a lot of great times together as well and i care about him immensley. i know this is really long, but i guess that my question is, did i really do the right thing?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 September 2009):
Ditch this guy quickly. He's using you for his own ends and playing the guilt card when he feels you slipping away. This is not good for a relationship. You're 18 and there are other guys out there who have more of a future and will treat you with far more respect than he is. Don't fall for the tears, they're a trick. He's just not good enough for you. Find someone else. x
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