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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months now, after being friends for 3 years. I love him very much and I know he loves me too, but we are both at University and its getting harder and harder. When I say we're struggling he seems oblivious. For our first term everything went fine, but now it seems more difficult. I've started to not trust him, partly because he lives in halls with a very attractive girl who always seems to be around..they live together, they're living together next year and they're in all the same lectures. He always talks about her when we're together, when I go to see him she's always there, and when he comes to see me she's constantly texting him. She makes me uncomfortable even though I know he would never cheat on me, because she's in his life all the time and I'm not. He definitely finds her attractive and it makes me feel insecure. I thought we were strong enough to cope with not seeing each other more than once a week but it's really starting to hurt. I don't want to lose him but I don't really know what else I can do. Advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Kiv, writes (11 February 2005): Have you asked him, in a straightforward manner, "Is there anything, or has there ever been any between the two of you?" He'll tell you "yes," or he'll tell you "no." You decide whether or not you believe him, and whether or not you can live with his answer. Relationships are complicated these days, and I won't begin to analyse yours. But, one thing is for certain, if you don't trust him or believe him, you don't have a lasting relationship. You'll never know, unless you ask in a manner that you are serious, not just a jealous girlfriend, and you need to know.Trust is everything.
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