A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know on here people often mention about relationships being a fairytale, but that isn't true, obviously.However, I found out that some couples in longterm relationships don't live together, not just for financial reasons - personal space etc. so I doubt the other realities - bills, mortgages/rent, dirty washing, housekeeping, mowing the lawns, laundry, will apply but probably not sickness/bad moods/arguments (although these last three probably happen when not living together). I suppose money is one thing - but you're still paying rent/board - to your parents by helping with things like lawns, cleaning car, fixing fences etc.I don't have a partner at the moment, but may not live together unless we're getting married and certain about it, dead certain. Yes, marriage is a gamble but then again, all relationships are to some extent, I've had bad ones but not bad ones , y'know, abusive/racist/homophobic ones etc.I wonder, for those of you who are in a long-term relationship now, would you live together or not?(not should you, would you?)
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 April 2014):
 I think it really comes down to EACH individual relationship and the people IN that relationship.
My husband and I have been married for nearly 17 years - together for almost 19, and living together for almost 18.
So, we dated (mostly LDR) for about a year, we then moved in together and due to logistics and other reasons decided to marry a year later. I think living together prior to marriage makes sense. I also think sex before marriage makes sense. I think it cuts down on a LOT of issues and problems.
Living together gives you a better idea of the person you are with. Are they tidy? Organized? Spontaneous? Can he/she cook? Is he/she willing to adapt to my/his schedule? Likes and dislikes. Habits? Now, you can talk about all those things, but it really can be very different when living together.
I'm a type A personality with a big dose of OCD behavior. My husband is a type B who is somewhat of a procrastinator. I like certain things JUST so. He adapted. And I learned to be less "rigid" in my routines. We mesh pretty well around the house.
I think if a couple can't/won't live together at SOME point in time ( I would say after 1-3 years is reasonable for me) then it's kind of odd to me. I can see people living together who never marry and that is fine (if marriage is something NEITHER wants). But not living together after 2-3 years? Why not? It's kind of a natural progression if you ask me. At some point you have to shit or get of the pot, frankly. Move in or move on.
THOUGH when you get people in their 45+ who is "starting over" in a relationship sense, I DO get that they move WAY slower then a younger couple when it comes to moving in together, specially if they BOTH own their own house. They MIGHT be quite content with "just" dating each other for years.
So.. each to their own.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 April 2014):
 My S.O. and I keep separate addresses and expect to continue to do so, indefinitely........
There's nothing magical about "living together".... BUT, there is plenty of angst and turmoil if you (two) choose to discontinue "living together."
I applaud your belief that "living together" is to be part of being MARRIED... and NOT just a function of "playing house."
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2014): That's too vague a question to answer really, OP.
I mean you're going to get a range of answers based on many different factors, length of time of relationship, financial situations etc.
Are you just wondering about people's specific situations?
I live with my wife, but we live together about 5 years before getting married. It took about two years to take that step but we spent all our free time together as it was so it just made sense.
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