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Womens' Rights to Polygamy

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (26 August 2009) 1 Comments - (Newest, 26 August 2009)
A male United States age 51-59, horseman writes:

POLYGAMY: An Issue of Womens’ Rights

When we hear the term “medical procedures” we could easily think of things such as the cruel surgeries inflicted upon some prisoners of war, men and women having sex-changes or babies being aborted and dying before having their rightful chance at life. But, there are many more numerous medical operations that take place every day, saving and improving lives, than could be listed here, taking up many pages. Thus, it would be unfair to assume or to say when we hear the term “medical procedure” that it is a terrible thing! In our culture we usually only hear of “Polygamy” when there is something bad that has happened among people who just also happen to have more than one wife. There are two points I want to address and make clear: First, There are many forms of polygamy and many people, both male and female, who choose this lifestyle. Some are oppressed and abused and others are happier than they would be living any other way of life. Secondly, there are potentially bad apples in every bushel, but that does not mean the rest should be thrown out as rotten. Because some men are abusive in all its various forms and happen to be polygamous does not mean that being a polygamous man necessarily makes him one of these rotten men! There are plenty of monogamous and unmarried men who are also abusive and exercise unkind dominion over women and children. If they happen to be Catholic, Baptist, Mormon, or even Atheist would it be fair to condemn all other men of that religious persuasion? Of course not! This would be unfair, incorrect, and ridiculous! The same principle applies to polygamous men. The media seems to focus on the bad things that happen, but there are numerous kind, loving, gentle, hard-working, sweet natured husbands in our world, both polygamous and monogamous.

The message I want to make is that this legal issue is one of women’s rights! If a woman chooses to be the only wife married to one man then she has that right, due to their marriage vows, as does he to be the only husband. But, if a woman chooses to allow another woman into their family in a legal and lawful marriage, as a plural wife, then they should have that right!

It is obviously a heinous crime to abuse children in any way, and just as horrible for women to be forced into something so important as the nature of plural marriage against their will! This goes without argument among any and all decent human beings, so it is not the matter of my discussion. Any marital situation legally entered into should be consensual and agreeable between responsible adults only. All acts of abuse, force, or neglect should be punished to the full extent of the law, regardless of the marital status being polygamous, monogamous or otherwise! This being stated, I’ll move on.

When an intelligent, caring, sweet, and all around wonderful woman with high moral standards is looking for a husband she often finds this search much like “searching for Atlantis” as the recently popular country music song vocalizes so well. There are, of course, many happy love stories where she may find her dream man and live happily ever after. But, unfortunately, this is not the norm… as testified by the thousands of single mothers and desperately searching women in every city across America today… left disappointed and lonely by rather worthless men... totaling in the millions!

To find a kind, gentle, hard-working and sweet man is not so impossible and hard really as it seems, but they are usually unavailable, being already “very married!” If it was legal for a man to be married to more than one wife, when they all agree and desire it, and society could get over its racist type of mentality and take off the blinders of prejudice, then many a good man could devote his life to serving and blessing more than one wife. Thus, would a large percentage of these disappointed and lonely women, who are searching for a needle in a haystack, be able to find quality men to love them, take care of them, and help them find happiness and be successful in fulfilling their own goals and dreams.

This really is a principle of deep love, not one of selfishness for the man. If a man is a selfish individual, with his own interests, pleasure, and carnal desires in mind he would be the world’s greatest fool to seek a plural marriage! The emotional effort and work to make a monogamous relationship flow smoothly and happily for a husband and wife is very great, but to add the additional exponent of another woman…with her own set of ideas, emotions, possible baggage, and even her dreams only multiplies the work for all of them, especially the man! No, a selfish or lustful man would not last long at all in such a legal relationship and even more likely would never get into one to start with. He would be more interested in having his needs and wants met by his one wife and then pursuing his own hobbies and interests on the side, avoiding the stress and work of making two women happy! Even more likely, he’d be a confirmed bachelor or a “playboy”, accepting no family responsibilities at all. And if he is a vile creature with an unfaithful heart, he can find his gross desires with “a lady of the night” somewhere practicing “the oldest profession on Earth for women”… and without any commitment or work involved on his part to provide for her needs or happiness. No, a selfish man would have no desire for plural marriage if he knew the amount of effort it would take for him to succeed in such a family relationship. Legalized and openly practiced polygamy will mostly just appeal to the kind, loving, gentle men that live their lives to help their wives be all they can be and accomplish their dreams, and he’ll seek their needs above his own.

With many current federal and state statutes outlawing plural marriage, there are those lazy and selfish men who abuse the welfare systems of their various residencies by claiming some of their wives to be single, while considered married in their own eyes, but are not legally wed. Thus, they receive benefits that are meant for single mothers who are struggling financially and create an unfair strain on the welfare system. These slothful men often prevent their wives doing the things they want to do in life, even sometimes retarding their level of education to further make them dependant on the men. This is another form of abuse and neglect that must be stopped. Legalizing plural marriage would help eliminate this problem, as they’d have to claim themselves married rather than single or face the state for fraud in receiving these funds. Illegal polygamy also attracts the criminally minded men of the world, or at least the selfish kind that most women would not choose to marry, if they had someone decent to choose from! That is why we hear so many bad stories, year after year, which point at polygamous groups doing bad things to women and children. It is time for our nation to extend the freedoms to all men and women that citizens of a free country should have in choosing their own personal lifestyle by legalizing plural marriage between responsible, consenting adults. Simultaneously, we should stop the horrible crimes that too often are found among our people by prosecuting with increased vigor and diligence those who abuse, oppress, or neglect women or children in any way!

View related questions: atheist, move on, no desire

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

Yeah, you're a real feminist, my friend.

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