A
male
age
36-40,
*oodsc21
writes:Ok well. I guess this is an update from my previous question. But I did break up with my girlfriend and it didn't go very well.. She basically says she hates me, she never loved me, she was desperate, and basically everything she says to me is hostile. She told me she never wanted to hear or see me again and wants me completely out of her life. Now I admit I am quite shocked about this new turn of events. My feelings for her are still there, but I really think she may be feeling more pain than I am right now. I think she is kind if in denial about all of this, but she keeps telling all her friends that she is so happy and loving life right now. I need answers from women lol. I don't know whats going on and what I should do.. When should I try and talk to her? Should I even try and talk to her, and work things out?Thanks Chris Reply to this Question
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female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 you need to be gentle with her. she has been in an abusive relationship and that takes a lot out of a woman and completely changes how you behave in relationships. she's been hurt a lot by men and now shes been hurt by you although you didnt mean to and its a different scenario.
shes lashing out at you and being mean to you because she is hurt. if someone punches you, the natural reaction is to want to punch them back: if someone hurts you emotionally, the natural reaction is to want to hurt them back. She should really try to be a bigger person and have a bit more dignity but i think she is trying to convince herself that she hasnt lost anything and never loved you a lot more than she is trying to convince you of that.
send her an email explaining that you still have feelings for her and you dont like when she says she hates you and that you are really surprised at the way she is being. explain why you ended it if you havent already and whatever you do, dont retaliate by saying you never loved her either etc etc no matter how bad she gets to you. she is already feeling rejected and vulnerable so dont make it worse for her especially considering her previous experience with relationships
good luck
brooke
x
A
male
reader, woodsc21 +, writes (26 September 2007):
woodsc21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell. Right now I think she is too young and immature for a relationship. See her ex bf Zach treated her badly. He would hit her and abuse her and just toy with her mind. And every guy she dated till me treated her like crap. I was the first guy she dated that "truely" made her happy. I made her laugh more in the first 2 months than she did 3 years with Zach. Her mom said she just always seemed happier when she was with me. But she started pushing me away and wanted a break and I wasn't going to wait for her to end it. So I ended it to stop her from prolonging the inevitable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Hi Chris
Its tough when you break up with some one and she is only lashing out and saying these things to you now cos she is hurting real bad...
Give her space and time to come to terms with everything. At the moment you are the last person she will want to see or hear from (and I don't mean it in a bad way)
When you say "work things out" do you mean get back together with her? If so why break up in the first place?
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