A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm just here for some advice on a relationship i've just entered, though were not officially together yet, were basically seeing eachother. i've liked this girl for years and we've always been quite flirty with eachother but i had a girlfriend for 2.5 of the 3 years i've known her which ended horrendously and i was heart broken. however i've finally got past all that and want this new relationship to actually work, because i already find what we have generally more fun and better in every way than my relationship with my ex, and that was 2 and a half years and this has only been a month or so!! she is absolutely my dream girl, i get along with her so so well and although it's only been a short time i feel like i'm starting to fall for her.. which to be honest i'm quite scared about! because i don't want to be hurt again.This girl is very very different from my ex, much more chilled out! my relationship with my ex was actually long distance, and we were very ontop of eachother. both very clingy! and loved up to the max. texting like constantly all day, calling everymorning/night etc.However, She was extremely flirty and i have good reason to believe she cheated on me more than once. which drove me insane with jealously!With this new relationship it's very different, the girl doesn't like public affection and we only text or call int he evenings and it's just generally more chilled, which i quite like! however i do find myself thinking about her constantly, just like i did with my ex, but i don't want to ruin what we have and spam message her! and become obsessive. i think i'm quite a jealous person and also quite clingy and affectionate. but i don't want to be! especially as she's said the big no no's of hers is holding hands across the table, or when walking along. making soppy kissing noises!The problem is, when i'm around her, i want to kiss her and hug her alot! and find it weird saying bye without atleast a kiss, i feel more like a friend somtimes! we have a very banterous relationship, so she'll deliberately not kiss me to wind me up! which is funny, but somtimes i actually want more than a hug!but i want to respect what she likes, and i can see her point.Is there any advice you can give me to make things work?i'm trying to apply what i've learnt from past experience and for instance she said "I like how you say when i'm out, go have fun ! stop texting me!" which i never would have before. but thats probably because i trust this girl ! even if she is also a flirt, i don't think she'd do anything.I have been waiting for her to text me first, so i know if she isn't busy. Trying to be generally less clingy etc!But yes, any advice would be much appreciated! cos i really do like this girl and thats literally the only difference i've seen between us.Thanks.
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cheated on me, flirt, jealous, kissing, long distance, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSounds quite a good plan. but she seems to hate romantic stuff? and she's always busy! so i'd probably turn up and find out shes not even in haha.She said she didn't want a relationship to me before and i sort of agree'd i didn't really want one either due to not thinking i was over my ex properly. her reasons for that is that she thinks she's too independent now after being single so long and just doesn't really want one. But as i said it's just turning into one anyway! were sort of drawn to eachother and have been since i met her.We can't decide what our relationship is, but i think labeling it or pushing dates etc might make her run away, it seems to be going well just letting it run how it is.But for instance sometimes when she talks to me she goes all girly and coy, and is quite mushy in that sense, but then the next day she'll be more 'friendly' than girlfriendy.. sounds kinda petty but one day she'll wana talk loads and give me quite a few kisses at the end of texts to say night and the next she'll send one or none and the general tone of her seems off and more cold towards me.She's very confusing! but i am aware i over-analyse things too lolx
A
female
reader, kryssy  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 well, this girl kind of reminds me of my best friend. i think it would help a lot if you were to surprise her someday, bydoing something spontaneous. like tell her that you are going out of town when you're really not. and then after she thinks you are gone, show up, and surprise her with a night to yourselves, plan a wonderful date, or just chill out inside. it will show her your romantic side and i think she will fall for you hard after that. it would work for me...good luck...:)
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