A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts and uncles I'm 19 and i just got married on the 17th of dec to my boyfriend of 3 years hes in the military and i'm really happy . how ever my concern is that when we got married we had sex with out a condom and i'm not on birth control its not like we planned to have a baby it was just in the moment of pure bliss that we just didn't use a condom .we had sex for 6 days straight and each time ..yes he ejaculated inside me .we figured if we have a baby we have one .so for the past several days now we've been excited because we could actually be pregnant .. anxious as i was i took a pregnancy test now and it came out negative . i know it may be too soon but now i fear i Could be infertile .i mean we had sex right on the 17th and (my period ended on the 16th ). on top of that i'm now getting real painful cramps and i never get them and for some reason i feel my period coming again and i'm freaking out cause its ..light brown discharge..and I've never had that before . I'm not sure what to think but i feel that i'm not pregnant and i don't understand how could i not be ? am i not able to have kids ? i spoke to my Dr and she said i can, but then why am i not pregnant? could i be rushing to fast to conclusions and just wait till next month and see what another pregnancy test says ?For those that feel that i'm way to young to even being doing any of this getting married and jumping right into having a baby i know and i understand i should wait but I've done my share of partying and i graduated early and have been going to college for almost 2 yrs now I'm a real planner when it comes to things i want and a future for myself and i don't think its bad to want to get married or have a baby if it happens it happens either way i'm going to school and finishing what i started so yeah just to help give you a picture to myself .thanks for listening and for your help god bless you all and have a happy new years !
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 hi
don't worry just because it hasn't happened for you yet, just keep trying, generally if a couple don't conceive after about 18 months to 2 years there may be cause for concern. increase your chances by having sex at the most fertile time for you (if possible) google 'ovulation' for more info. taking zinc tablets is believed to aid fertility too, for men and women, it is not a drug, it can be found in certain foods and you can buy it in tablet form too, google zinc for more info. look after your health, make sure you are a healthy weight (as being over or underweight can affect a woman's fertility). don't smoke, especially your husband as this can give him a low sperm count and see your doctor to make sure that you have no infection that if left untreated can ruin your fertility permanently
xx
A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 It takes fertile couples up to a year to get pregnant.
From a health a pregnancy professional POV..chill out!
You wont get a positive test for at least a week after conceiving.
Find out when you ovulate by buying some tests, use online trackers to track your most fertile days.
Most importantly, enjoy trying to make a baby, stay relaxed, dont make it a chore to have sex.
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A
female
reader, wornoutmommy +, writes (16 January 2011):
 Hey, my partner and I went for a whole year of unprotected sex - after having a really bad miscarriage - and I'm finally pregnant. It takes time. I would suggest that if you're really trying, to start taking prenatal vitamins. These will help build up your folic acid, which helps create a better uterine lining and support for an embryo. Also, I had problems to stop smoking- so if you do try to quit. And any pot use needs to cease on both ends (not that you guys do, but that can cause problems with sperm count) Smoking actually hardens the uterine lining, making an embryo unable to 'stick'. Because you are young, you have plenty of time to keep trying. There are women who don't start trying till they're in their late 30's and then infertility is a problem.
One month of trying doesn't guarantee results. If you want to 'schedule' out the best time, about two weeks after your period ends is usually when a woman ovulates-but that can vary widely for many women. Also- wait to take an over the counter pregnancy test until your next period is supposed to begin, then use it when you first wake up. This is when urine is at its most concentrated levels and hcg levels show up better.
But I do agree with others here, enjoy your time with just the two of you. I had a little girl when I was 17, and while she's my saving grace- I do wish that I could have had that 'husband and me' period without the little ones. Having this time helps build your relationship stronger, so that when little ones arrive you two are more on the same page than and immediate child. :) Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, jbbutterfly30 +, writes (3 January 2011):
you shouldnt really test for pregnancy and drs cannot either until you expect your next period..which if its on a 28 day cycle then around the 13th of january..sometimes pregnancy is quick to happen and sometimes it just takes time..what you need to do most is stop stressing because if you are pregnant then it is not good for you or the baby..with the cramps and discharge it could be ovulation or if your on a shorter cycle than 28 days it could be implantation bleeding which would be a good thing..lastly your young so enjoy it whether you are or are not pregnant..you have lots of time to try.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Sometimes things can just take a little time hun. If your concerned speak to your doctor for piece of mind but I really wouldn't worry as it has only been a week or two. If a baby is something you both wish for then just keep healthy and keep trying.
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A
female
reader, ThatsMyCookie +, writes (31 December 2010):
 I'm not about to judge you, don't worry - it's completely up to you whether you feel ready and prepared and emotionally mature enough to deal with the stress and the amount of care you need to give to support a tiny life. However, I feel that I must make a point of how young you are. When you have a baby, your life honestly no longer centres around you - such as, you feel hungry - you eat, you're tired - you sit down, you're bored - you do something fun. That flies out of the window and you turn into, you feel hungry - you wait because you have to take the baby to the doctors, you're tired - tough, the baby is screaming for food and you need to get up, etc. etc.
Infertility is not entirely ruled out, but from the situation your describing I can confidently say that I doubt you are infertile. It sounds like you took the pregnancy test far too early. The earliest you should do a pregnancy test is 21 days (three weeks) after you last had uprotected sex.
You say you 'feel' your period coming. I think you should wait and see if it actually does come before jumping to the conclusion that you aren't pregnant.
The abdominal pain, coupled with what sounds like slight vaginal bleeding, could simply be chalked down to ovulation, especialy if you are experiencing breast tenderness and watery vaginal discharge. However, you should definitely contact your GP about this.
If your doctor has ran tests to make sure you are fertile and determined you are, then you are. Those tests don't lie! :)
Finally, stop stressing. If you relax and take time to just let whatever happens happen, then you'll feel a lot better about everything. Calm down and most of all, enjoy the time when you're newly married! :)
Much love and good luck - though I'm sure you don't need it :D.
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