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female
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anonymous
writes:Is it possible to feel a connection to someone you have never met but have conversed with via e-mail, IM and phone for the past 6 months? Has anyone had this happen before? Also, what are the chances upon an initial meeting that there will be no chemistry whatsoever even though we both have seen pics of one another? Is it possible that wishful thinking is going on here or can a good relationship happen as a result of developing a good relationship in the manner described first? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Of course it is possible, as you have found out. It could be there is no chemistry between your or it could be there is. The only way to find out is to meet up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): Is it possible? Sure... but you have to be careful with since that's how a lot of Nigerian scammers are able to work. They have the person "build" a love connection with them online and via the phone and the next thing you know, they're going through all kinds of problems and that require large sums of $$ being wired to them. The victim is in love and these people are feeding on that. So, you just have to be careful.
That said (to answer your other question): I once met a guy online. Great on paper, nice photo, nice conversations. We met. And I realized that what the photo didn't show was how much he looked like my brother. And his mannerisms were like my brother's. I kept looking at him all through lunch and thinking he could be my brother. So, there was zero chemistry. And the odd thing was, he felt no chemistry with me either, something was just off. Not that we didn't find each other attractive, but almost like we could be long-lost siblings or something (which, considering my dad and his father before him, is possible... LOL).
I've found, when it comes to online dating, I have better success when I've used the internet for meeting and then moving things offline as soon as possible. I met my boyfriend that way, we had a date within a week's time or so and then set about getting to know each other the old fashioned way. Nothing substitutes face-to-face interaction.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): OFCOURSE ITS THE REAL THING!!! I met my wife online about 10 years ago and we talked online/phone/email for about 4 years before we first met in person, and let me tell you everything we felt during long distance online (Feelings etc) was exactly the same in real life when we first met, only difference is it was A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER because we were actualy with them! and we could hold and touch eachother and it just proved that what we devloped online/phone was proven real in real life. However you have to remember this happened over so many years.. not just a few weeks or months.. we fell in love just by getting to know eachother and realising that we were made for eachother. soulmates :)
goodluck in your journey.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): It is VERY possible to develop intense feelings and even fall in love before meeting in person. It happened to me. We exchanged pics early on, kept chatting a bit longer and met. When we met in person it was electric! My relationship was deeper than any I've ever had due to the fact that we poured our souls out to one another. Sadly, my story ended with my heart being broken through no fault of his. This was in 2004. I came here seeking help on moving on because I still haven't recovered from my loss. Be careful though. But you absolutely can fall in love with someone online--proceed with caution though. Take care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): It's perfectly possible to bond with someone through e-mail. An emotional connection can be formed without any kind of connection whatsoever, simply by realizing the other person exists.
It's possible that the two of you will be attracted to each other, but you're right that it's possible there will be no chemistry. Seeing pictures of each other doesn't tell you the whole story of what they smell like, sound like, or how they move. You just need to pursue the relationship as far as you can, and let it be what it's going to be. If it doesn't work out, that's unfortunate, but you can't not do it just because you're afraid it might not work out.
The only thing you can do is give it a shot.
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A
female
reader, sojazzy +, writes (24 April 2009):
Guess what? It's a dog eat cat world babe. You can never really tell...but i can give you this-My fiance and I met on myspace in june of 2008. He was German, and thus, lived in Germany. I'm an American born and bred...and so you can see the problems occuring already. In addition to this, he is a student and I'm about to start college myself this fall, so not much money.But where there is a will, there is a way.We were both terrified that when we met each other, we were going to find out that it was all in our heads and there was no real substance to our relationship. He came to visit me for 3 weeks on december 24th of 2008. Initially, it was a little difficult...he isn't my 'normal type' and I had phsycial issues to overcome. But you know what? I'm chasing the kind of love that lasts, not the kind that robs you of free-thought processes. And someday we're both going to be old and wilting...and we'll still be talking and laughing because we have personalities that compliment each other.I would warn you to be careful to make sure that you know who your online partner really is...and that it could really all be in your head. Online relationships are great for fantasy. In the start of my relationship I loved it because i had someone in my life that I had to give very little commitment to. As the relationship has progressed though...it's the real mccoy.today I'm writing this from Germany, because this is where I live. I moved across the ocean to be with him, we're getting married, and returning to the U.S. so that I can begin and complete my education.Now what's more romantic than that??chin up.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (24 April 2009):
They say that only about 40% of communication is using words.
You've used the phone with him so you've got the tone and the pauses and the unsaid things, but you've never really SPOKEN to each other.
It's very possible that you could meet up and have no attraction. We had a question on here from some poor girl who "fell in love" by MSN then met him, felt NOTHING but friendship and then he started talking about marriage and moving in together and she had to break his heart.
If you are going to meet up then do it safely and don't have any expectations. If it goes well and there is an attraction then take it SLOWLY!
Yes you've been chatting for 6 months but this is still your first date. If you have sex too soon he will lose respect and not see you as girlfriend material.
Be careful and be aware you could get very hurt.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Of course it is possible because that is what you are experiencing. Some would say this is a good way to get to know someone as you have been learning about their personality rather than being swayed by sexual attraction.
It is possible that there will be no chemistry, but also possible that there will be. Why don't you suggest meeting up and see what happens - go on, be brave!
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male
reader, Love4Life +, writes (24 April 2009):
 Yes but you have to be careful. People will say and act the way the want online but in life could be different. I would suggest rent the movie "You've got mail" It's a great movie and does have some tips in their about meeting online. Just remember meeting in real life can be great or be horrible. It's a chance you have to be willing to take. Also take a friend never go alone theirs just to many psychos out their now days. Better be safe than Sorry. Hope this has been some help...
Miah
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