A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am really sorry for the length of this but I have to get this off my chest.I met my boyfriend online almost 2 years ago. He lives in the USA and is in the Navy and I live in the UK, working in a bank. We really hit it off and after 3 months i flew there. It was amazing and ever since we have commuted back and forth every 3-4 months, our families and friends love and accept our relationship too. Despite the distance, we have been really strong. We have had alot of hurdles along the way though - His ex girlfriend who couldnt let go and would threaten me, He has a son with a previous flame (though this doesnt affect us), He suffers with sleeping more than 3hours because of being at war and so has to take sleeping tablets, Girls would constantly text/email him and we had many arguments of him being secretive with his phone.A month ago I found out he had cheated on me before our first 'physical' meet. He had taken a girl out for dinner, and taken her back to a hotel etc... (I need not go into detail). I broke it off because I was so upset. I went out, got drunk and went home with a guy. I didnt sleep with him, I just made out with him and then left and went home. I told my boyfriend about this and he was devastated, but could understand my motives. I told him i wanted some space and we didnt talk for a few days. 3 weeks passed and I suddenly recieved a 7 page letter from my bf. The letter contained a sincere apology, vows to never hurt me again, his feelings for me, he went into depth about our relationship and how in those 3 weeks he has sat and thought about who he wants in his future and that he wants to settle down with me. How he wants no contact with other girls, just those of his old friends and family. He then went on to say that He's willing to come to the UK to speak to me and rekindle our relationship Or I need to come back to the US because he has a big question for me.Now im no mind reader, but it doesnt take a genius to know what that big question is. I dont want to sound like a pushover, but the letter moved me and his apology sounded genuine. Also, asking me to marry him, Are we in the wrong situation to make this commitment?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Coming from an army wife..long distance relationships do work me and my husband were in one and if both parties put in the right amount of effort it will survive and eventually grow..the international part of it, I was in an international relationship and it fizzled after 3 months..Now the navy part of it, most sailors Ive come across are nothing but man whores just looking to get their dinghy wet. How old is the sailor? If he's 24ish then he may be ready to take u as his wife and girls we all wait for this day! Anything younger than that he's still going to man whore around in the military. Im 25 and my husband is 30, so he's had a chance to get that out of his system. But do note, it is very hard being a military wife. He's going to be shipped out to the middle east and ur going to be carted all over America. Are u ready to change ur life forever and leave behind Britain?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): Let me tell you this is definitely the wrong situation to be in, not the long distance part, but more of the military part. Being a US Marine myself, I know what it is like not having someone that you are comfortable with at all times. I had multiple girlfriends as well, and it really took me out of my comfort zone. Being with one girl gives you a sense of comfort, one that while in the military was a necessity. So, when it comes to not having one, I did what ever it took to find that comfort level with multiple females in multiple ports. With you both starting the relationship out with a tad bit of deceit, and you live so far away from one another, you are setting yourself up for future disappointment. I would almost guarantee that the texting isn't going to stop and him seeing other women won't stop. It never has for me either.
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