A
female
age
,
*aryB
writes:I'm asking this question purely out of curiosity. What are the chances of a couple (one of them being a relative of mine) making their relationship work the second time around if she ended the relationship the first time because her bf tried to change her to his liking? If he was not genuinely happy with her to begin with but, because he doesn't want to be alone, one month. later he makes promises to her he pretty much knows he won't be able to keep so that she will take him back- can this relationship survive? Also, if the guy has convinced himself that he can deal with their differences can he actually put up with those differences for a long period of time before he reverts back to wanting or trying to change her again? The differences I'm refering to are not simple little idiosyncracies - he for one is an alcoholic with no intentions of quitting, loves to come and go as he pleases, is not one to just sit around like a couch potatoe and values his friends and family in a big way although, he has no desire to become closely involved in raising her 16 yr. old son (he has no children of his own). Her, on the other hand does not drink, is happy living a very low key life, dislikes any of his friends and does not feel the need to embrace his family anymore than she has to. She also, has health issues which she has to deal with for the rest of her life. He owns his own home which he is still paying for out in the country on several acres of land which he loves and will not give up for her and she lives in an apt. several miles away in the city and expects him to be there with her. She has no desire to live in the country. Although, his job is closer to her place he is not happy being cooped up in her apt. for long periods of time so he always finds reasons to escape. He works days and she works the 3rd shift an 90 minutes away. Neither of them do anything together outside of the home as far as entertainment or spending time with friends- they just sit around in her apt. watching tv when they do have time together. In my opinion, It's hard for me to believe that these two individuals will be able to sustain a healthy relationship for very long with those kinds of differences. I'm not asking this question because I have any intentions of becoming directly involved with this situation- I just feel that they are both wasting each others time pretending to expect that their differeces for the sake of being in a relationship. Your opinion on this matter would be appreciated.
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (5 September 2011):
 Hi,
I don't know why? But, nowdays relationships are so hard to maintain. We live in a different time now, where women are successful and independent. Men and women cheat. We have Internet, cell phone, so many ways to meet people, lie, etc. So, even when you truly love someone, perfectly professional, normal people I see couples struggle everyday. By what you describe them as an individual and the schedule, it's more likely that this relationship will 90% not survive. Why I say that? Because through my own experience, and I have many friends that have problems in their relationship. Even with love, dedication, positive attitude, support I saw many of my friends relationships fail.
Who knows? Everything is possible and miracles do happen...
Wish you and your family good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): Personally I think it'll crash n die again
But,that said, there are always exceptions and opposites do attract....
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