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female
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*owtocope
writes: Caught my husband cheating on me in my own home while i was sleeping upstairs....with my cousins girlfriend who is about 15 years older then me. I welcomed them in my home for a night of drinking and fun, my husband was really drunk and High on cocaine (which my cousin brought into my home) I do not condone drugs nor do I do them myself. This has affected my life in so many ways, that I don't know where I want to go from here. He claims it was a mistake he was so high and is disgusted and will do whatever it takes to save out marriage, and I truly want to move pass it, if he's willing to get help, but my question is, will I ever be able to get over it...do women ever forgive or will this constantly be hanging over my head and causing more harm then good for this marriage? I feel like I can forgive him one day but then the next I'm not so sure. I really just don't know if marriages can be saved whether the love is there or not even if the trust has gone can it ever be gained back.
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female
reader, kahlan  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 Is this the first time your husband has cheated on you? If he is serious about doing whatever it takes to save your marriage ask him to go for councilling together. If he says it was the drink and coke that lowered his inhibitions enough that he used it as an excuse for sleeping with this woman,tell him youd be happier if he stayed away from the drugs at least until this has sorted itself out,.You will eventually manage to forgive him-but its not something you will ever completly forget,though you will sometimes forget,then something will happen to remind you.The pain and hurt will will leson over time.It is up to you if you think your marraige is worth saving.If you decide to make a go of it,it will take time but it will get easier.Had your cousin and his girlfriend been together long?Does your cousin really like his girlfriend?If he did,he will probably be hurting too.If so,it might be an idea to talk together about whats happened.Although it takes two to tango,i would let fRFred West into my house befre id let that slapper darken my door ever again.Good Luck.Everything will turn out alright-you'll see. IF YOU NEED TO TALK,GET IN TOUCH ANY TIME.KAHLAN.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): all it takes is just one time.you may want to just continue as though nothing as happened, but you know you cannot. you need time to heal from this betrayal. what has he learnt from this all. how can he and the woman he was having sex with face you? in your minds eye, you will always picture your hb engaging in sexual activities with this woman. will he give up the grugs, go to rehab, go to counselling for your marriage or is he just trying to pacify you. this man was f*cking another owoman in your own home while you were upstairs. give me a break. he is such a low life (sorry, i know he is your hb) IN YOUR OWN HOME! what total disrespect for you. how does he face you? how do you look at him and not be reminded of his filth. don't be too quick to forgive and forget. how can you trust him again? one hard question - if a man was so high and he raped a child , and he claimed he was not in his right sense, would you pardon him. so now your hb claims he was high, therefore he was having sex with this woman, are you going to condone him. SAME DIFFERENCE.
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