A
female
age
30-35,
*eltedfire13
writes:My dad started doing drugs (meth mostly that I know of) and drinking when I was about 3. He became violent and basically acted like a drug addict and came around less and less. My mom kicked him out at some point and I would rarely see him or talk to him. When I was 10 I saw him on easter for a little bit and never saw/ heard from him again. I'm 19 now and its kind of depressing to think he has so little interest in having me in his life. Anyways, I was wondering how this could possibly affect my relationships now? If it would at all. I don't know if I should go to counseling to deal with it or just try and eventually get over it myself
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female
reader, meltedfire13 +, writes (15 March 2010):
meltedfire13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni always feel weird going into detail about it to people because i feel like im being whiny and overreacting. i also dont want to dump a whole load of information on people right from the beginning because its probably more information than theyre interested in. i really didnt have a bad childhood, my mom did everything for me and i dont blame her at all for what happened. im sure if she let him stick around things would have been much worse but its still weird to think he just left completely. i already have problems trusting guys im going out with but im not sure if its because of my dad or just because i always hear so many stories of what other people do (and im not just saying men are bad because im aware women lie, cheat, etc also). i just feel like i have this view on life like if my own dad could just leave and not care about me at all theres definitely nothing stopping anyone else from doing it. its probably not true and a really stupid way to think but its hard not to at times
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): I don't agree that you would be unable to find a counselor to help you with your dad issues. And of course it will affect you in your future relationships, but you can learn how to be aware of that and learn ways to help yourself.If you have a close male relative or friend, then perhaps you can open up to them as well and ask if they would be willing to be your substitute dad....just having a good male role model can go along way to helping you out.Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist, I personally like Behavioral Psychologists, or Cognitive Behavioral. They don't spend a whole lot of time on your past, but help you learn from it and move on to a successful life as the adult you are now...that is all that matters really, you don't have to be a product of your past. Some people have much much worse childhoods, full of abuse....your Mom probably did you a favor by protecting you from a drug addicted father....so be grateful for small blessings.
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