A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I really like this boy... he's so sweet and nice to me... but the only problem is, he's my best friends boyfriend. I love my best friend so much. i couldnt cope if i ever lost her.. and when i started having feelings for her boyfriend i didnt want to admit it... its been 1 year now and i still cant accept it. I would never want them to break up. my friend has some problems at home, and he's the only person who can make her smile sometimes. i know she loves him so much more than i do.Even though i know its for the best, it really hurts. i feel trapped because either way, i lose. i feel sad when theyre togather but if they ever broke up id be sad too. my crushes usually dont last long. but its been a whole year.... im starting to feel i wont get over him... even though i know ill move on oneday... i really dont want to cry anymore. I couldnt ever tell her. i know if i did... she'd understand... but i could never talk to him again after. id feel to guilty. and thatd just make me even more depressed.im so confused... i feel like such a horrible person for doing this to my friend.... even though i know i cant control my feelings.
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female
reader, arielthh  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 I know how bad you feel but hey, we cannot control feelings, right? The only we can do is repress and conceal it. How are you doing lately? Have you decided on what to do? If I were you, I would:
1. Keep it to myself. Not telling anyone.
2. Keep myself busy with school work, housework, sports, jobs,... anything to keep my mind from this issue. Believe me, once you are busy, you won't have much time left to torture your soul on such thing. Be a busy person!
3. Your crush will eventually fade away, trust me. It may take 1 year or more, but it will. Friendship remains. So don't trade your friendship for a guy. He's not worth it.
Good luck to you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010): Its very likely that the only reason you still love this guy is because he's been sticking around and you see how great he is to your friend. If he was just some random guy you didnt know that way maybe you wouldn't have been crushing on him for a whole year.However, considering your age, we all go though sad love stories at that age. I was secretly in love with a guy 4 years older than me for 2 years and at that age 4 years mattered a lot. Now you also have a "forbidden" love and you're one year into it. It can be you will never get completely over it, but this is a part of your life experience. Loving this guy you can't have will make you grow and become a better person. And trust me, we've all been in your situation one way or the other.To help you cope with this though: what do you plan to do? You realize that even if they do break up, and even if he somehow wants to be your boyfriend, you might not be happy with him, and having a broken friendship will certainly not make you happier. So the best thing to do is what you've been doing so far: keep it to yourself. Your friend never needs to know. And then hang in there. If this has become unbearable, remove yourself from the situation: stop meeting up with your friends boyfriend! If this means you stop seeing your friend as much, then so be it. Better to give it time and space and let them be alone, than breaking anyone's heart.
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A
female
reader, src. +, writes (13 March 2010):
 If you think your bestfriend will understand then talk to her, she will help you not to be depressed. If you dont think that will work then try going on dates to see if you can like anyone else except this boy your liking now, if that dosnt work then you will have to wait till there is someone for you in the world, mr right always comes along in the end, just be patient.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): ok first of all there is nothing to feel guilty about,and u have 2 choices i say her or him1-her=100% percent ur friend2-him there is a chance he doesnt accept ur relationif u choose 1-: try avoiding contacting him and u will prolly forget himif 2- if he rejects u just lost 2 thingsif he accepts u just tradedmy suggestion is u take 1 and goodluckhun
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A
male
reader, John Smithy  +, writes (13 March 2010):
Love is not something that append to you, you let it in or its a choice! So I think you love him willingly. You have to decide love or frendship! I say frendship! Love come and go frendship last longer! You have a hard time with the love part cause its not possibal, for that reason more intresting. Its the rebel in you that want to do/have someting not ok.
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