A
female
age
26-29,
*izzie_1234
writes:Okay so, I know this may not be the right place for this. But, I really need and answer. Alright so my parents are taking me Tuesday to get a Pap and get me on birth control. My only worry is that my parents said they're gonna have my doctor check and tell them if I'm sexually active. My parents think the last time I had sex was two years ago. But, the truth is it was a little over a month ago. So can someone telling besides finding fresh seamen, and std or saying I'm pregnant will the doctor be able to tell if I was sexually active a month ago.
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (19 November 2012):
I'm not a lawyer, but I think the others are correct: the doctor cannot legally or ethically divulge that kind of information to your parents except under some very special circumstances.
If you are sexually active you SHOULD be getting regular pelvic exams. You should make the doctor aware that you are sexually active, and the doctor may ask other questions about your reproductive health. (Things like are your periods regular or erratic, heavy or mild, do you use tampons, how do you avoid pregnancy, etc.) I don't believe there is any observation or test that can tell the doctor when or how often you have had sex, unless it was recent enough that semen is still present.
By "birth control", I presume you are referring to oral contraceptives (often called simply "the pill"). Was this your parents' idea, or something you asked for? Either way, the subject is "on the table" and you should have a discussion with your parents about your sexuality and sexual behavior. You may not agree with each other on these matters, but you really should listen to each other calmly and rationally, and know each other's position.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 November 2012):
 Person12345 is correct and SHAME on your parents for trying to bully and scare you with LIES.
I hope you used a condom when you had sex.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 November 2012):
 Nothing wrong in getting a pap smear/check up and on birth control.
You do NOT have to bring your parent (mother or whomever goes with you) INSIDE when you get your check up. Nor can your doctor "tell" on you to your parents. However, MAYBE you need to consider being more honest with your parents?
And JUST because you get on birth-control doesn't mean you shouldn't continue to practice safe sex with a condom.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 November 2012):
Your doctor can't say anything. At all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): 16+ is defined as an adult in terms of patient confidentiality in the UK OP, the doctor can't divulge any information to your parents without your consent. They can't have your doctor check anything OP. I have a feeling they were just trying to trick you into admitting it or scare you into abstaining until they're sure you're going to be protected from an unwanted pregnancy.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 November 2012):
 No the doctor can't tell, only if your hymen is broken. Even if the doctor could know, they cannot tell your parents.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 November 2012):
 A few days maybe but not a month ago. Your parents cannot get private information through doctors because there is a patient doctor priviledge. Your parents put you on birth control, in case you defy their wishes and have sex anyway. A birth control is not a free pass for you to have sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): There's a thing called patient-doctor confidentiality....by law, they are not allowed to disclose a patient's information UNLESS that patient is considered dangerous to others and if the authorities intervene. So no, your doctor isn't allowed to tell your parents anything. Most likely, they are just scaring you. BTW 16-17 years old is TOO YOUNG to get a pap smear. I'm 20 and my gyno wouldn't even let me to get one.
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