A
male
age
51-59,
*ryingfreeman
writes:hmmm well i feel i had no where else to go so my frustation is here wow where to start , im an older guy and have a much younger girlfriend ,we have been seeing each other for a little over a year, my problem is that im 20years older then her , i cant even tell you how it happened ,one day i bumped into her we talked next thing we are talking more and more , in time confusing feelings came about, and some time later we started a relationship , its pretty secret at the moment , shes 20 im 40 ,i offen tell her how will this work ,(as much as i like the idea of it working) and she always tells me she loves me and doesnt care about the age diff, we both get on amazingly , i have talked about the diff of when we get older and she says she dont care and will love me for ever, am i mad ,crazy or is it possible and can it work? what will ppl think when they see us together ,will this make her life sad? last thing i want to do is give her a life of mocking by others and feel as im older maybe i should just end it ,im so confused as i love this girl more then i have loved in my life ,she really makes me feel loved, together we laugh, we argue, we cry but we always get through it and just seem stronger, it feels so good and right when we are together ,but then no one really knows of it so what happens when we come out with it, im not married and we are totally only for one another, and well thats prob enough , im just looking for the thoughts of others,can it work ? how will we be looked at, both her and/or me/us, how do we tell her parents well they take it well(im thinking not) mine wont care, thanks and good or bad words i can take it and except your thoughts cheers Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Hey!!!
We all make mistakes. She could have been like that if she had been 30 or 40, its just that you took the chance and unfotunatly it was the wrong decision. Its hard to get over a relationship when it all goes wrong, but you just have to keep your chin up and realise that there is a good person out there waiting for you.
Your life is not sh**, and you have loads to live for. Now stop licking your wounds, and get back out there.
XXX
A
male
reader, cryingfreeman +, writes (10 April 2009):
cryingfreeman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits shit means crap, it lasted a year and a half and through that time she was with 4 other guys 2 sexual, 2 just playing, like that makes it better, took her oh must of been 2days to get over me and my dum ass brain and bullshit beleaf in some crap ass love story, so 4 the last year i hate every thing , couldnt give a shit hate my life and every dam thing in it ,and cant beleive i fell in love with her i just dont learn, well now its to late cause i didnt caare enough for anythin anymore. cheers your classes to them who beleaved and up yours to the angel in heaven that thought it be funny to see me fukd upit ended wen a email got sent to me instead of her fuk on the side, i aranged to see her that night for dinner to confront her about it , after promissing to never do it again, yes thats right, i found out about the first lot and she begged and promissed, wat was i to do i fuking loved her and believed every lie after lie she told me, she heard i was going to bring up the email, i never got to talk to her again other then 1 time a few days later, and only cause i went to her work to ask WTF was going on, she made small talk said she was sorry had to get home and would conact me in a few days , HHAHAHA i believed her, HAHAHAHA come in sucker, but now i dont care, so thank you and later
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Hi,
Yes you will have trouble. But in a way that is the true test of a relationship. The biggest threat will be from her parents, you are probably only a few years younger than them.
She will also change, at 25 she will be a different person than when she was 20, you will be the pretty much the same.
Having said that, if you guys love each other then why not? It's not the strangest thing to happen and relationships break up for all matter of reasons, if you guys genuinely connect then you are better positioned than most relationships, so go for it!
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): there are 12 years between my mum and step dad and they have never found it a problem. in fact they've always said that as they get older the age difference is less noticeable
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): i think it can work out. it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks because a good relationship should be between just the people in it (as long as they are adults, of course) and shouldn't be affected by other people. you are both adults, and it should be quite obvious to her parents, when you tell them, that she is making her own mind up about this, not being influenced by you. there may well be some mockery at times, but if you are happy together and want to stay with each other then eventually people will shut up about it and accept it.
i can't really say how i would suggest she tell her parents, she will best know how to deal with them, maybe she could speak to a close relative if she's unsure, they may have suggestions as to how best to put it. but the fact of the matter is, she's 20 and can do what she likes, even if they really didn't like the idea, it's not up to them.
good luck with everything, i hope it all works out well
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 February 2008):
Hi,
You already know that you will have trouble, and of course people will make asumptions and stare a bit, probably out of jealousy mostly from the men.
But when it comes down to it! why should you care about what people think. If you love each other, you would be mad not to try to make a go of it. You will come up against pitfalls in your relationship, like everyone does. Only time will tell if you can make it though?, and anyway your hardly ancient are you?
XX
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