| A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: well, here we go. english isnt my first language, so please ignore my grammar mistakes :) 2 years ago, i really loved a guy. I was 13-14. i loved him, really. but he didn’t love me and i was so stupid, so i let him do everything to me. to be with him, i had to tell a lot of lies. lies like 'im not a virgin' because he seemed like he likes having sex with other girls and he was staring me a lot. but... you know... not in a good way :/i loved him so much so i let him do things like grabbing my butt, rubbing my breasts and even touching my genitals. and we kissed and he dry humped from my behind (i hope you understand what i mean) even i was wearing leggings and underwear, he was wearing jeans and underwear too. i guess it happened 4-5 times. actually, sometimes he was bothering me but i didn’t care. after that, almost everyone called me slut. i can’t blame him for all of this, because i was the one who lied. we both had mistakes in this.right now im 16. it bothers me so much actually. it also makes me remembered my sexual abuse on the internet when i was 10. so i really have to ask. did i lost my virginity? will any guy love me when he learn about my past? in my country, if you have sex without marriage people may dont like you, leave you and call you a slut. actually, i dont plan to live here when i graduate from university. but still, people here aren’t so understanding. i dont think im a liar anymore and im not bad person. i really want to love and to be loved. i think being first isn’t important, being the last is important. thats how i relieve myself.it really bothers me... im so sorry i know it’s a stupid and so long question but still... i have to ask...
View related questions:
breasts, liar, lost my virginity, the internet, underwear, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2020): thanks for your answers! :) but, it pops in my head EVERYDAY. i cant get over that. i cant tell this to anyone and i feel like im not a virgin anymore. but thank god, i feel much better now :) thanks again!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2020): Hi, even if you stay in your country, don't worry, life gets better. When you go to university, nobody is going to know your past unless you tell them.
Don't let guys use you, but think positive!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2020): You are not a slut. You are young you aren’t sleeping around with multiple boys , and rumor are rumors we all make mistakes hoe ness can be erased people forget just value yourself give yourself worth do not be easy act like a catch do not be easy and you’ll find a guy to date you
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2020): Sweetheart you are still very young. It's clear you keep blaming yourself for everything that happened.
You blame yourself for pretending you weren't a virgin.
It doesn't matter what you said because you were still under the age of consent.
No matter what you said you were still under sixteen years, still a minor and no one has the right to even ask you if you had had sex previously.
The law states that no one should have sex with anyone under the age of sixteen.
If they are an adult or over the age of eighteen then they are classed as sex offenders.
Teenagers often experiment with dry jumping but it doesn't mean they are not virgins.
It shocks me that you can mention sex abuse on the internet at age ten years.
This is very serious.
It is against the law and as a ten year old you should never have been subjected to sex abuse on the internet.... but it happens.
I hope you reported it to the police.
I think you have to talk to a teenage counsellor or health worker for you to realise that being abused at age ten was not your fault.
You are blaming yourself and this is made worse by bullying from others in your age group.
No, you are not at fault.
And yes, you are still a virgin until you allow a male sex organ to enter your body by penetration.
But sweetheart your whole personality and sense of self shouldn't be tied up in the concept of who did what to you.
It's important to try to redefine yourself as someone who is a person who can put these past experiences into the past.
That's why it would be good for you to ask your doctor for some free professional talking therapy where you can find ways to move on to a happier life where you are in control of what happens to you.
University is also a good idea but you still have to carry the burden for two more years unless you seek help.
You could tell your doctor that you were sexually abused via the internet at ten years of age and that you need to talk to a therapist so that you can reorder your thoughts about that experience and other experiences and you need a bit of adult help to make sense of it all.
Your doctor should arrange this free of charge and your therapist should aim to make you feel unburdened and a happier person who isn't muddled by what people say or think.
...............................
|
