A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay. So heres what i'm going through. My gf and i both have minor trust issues. In the past it has happened where we both have gone through eachothers stuff such as email, texts messages etc.. many ppl do this i guess to make sure.. Personally, i have nothing to hide, so if it makes her feel better or if it helps her build trust i wouldnt mind or care if she wanted to go on my email/facebook etc. if it helps her.. then so be it. So over a course of 7 months she has checked my stuff and i have checked hers, when brought up in an argument she yells at me saying " well you're so insecure and this and that. but when i remind her she did the same thing (checking my stuff) she says " well i was just joking" like wtf is that?? so i say "well, i was just joking too " and that pisses her off even moreA second thing i dislike is when i send her a text and i KNOW shes by her cell or i know she checked her phone but chose to be ignorant (By the way people, Dont call your gf ignorant, It PISSES them off ) and when she doesnt reply, she ignores the texts or responds on a different note as if my previous text never existed. so i asked her a question, she ignored it, and i was like wtf.. so i asked her to answer the question and she responds with "Fuck" then later on when i saw her, i told her that it bothers me when she doesnt respond or when she ignores my question all together. later when i met up with her She says "well i didnt have my phone on me (yelling) even though im 5 inches away " what you want me to do,?? you want me to glue the phone on my forehead , do you want me to make you a chart and write down everything i do every minute" She used to answer my texts etc. and her saying she was "busy" even though she replied to my text but completely ignoring the question i asked. So i told her, yes u DID go back up to your phone because you sent me a "f***" 30 min after i asked the question. so clearly you did see the text and you chose to ignore my question. and then when i showed her the times of the sent texts and prove her wrong she says " whatever, take me home. and starts freaking out going on about the most random unrelated crap. im like WTF are u talking about. All i asked was for her to Answer one question about her new camera" and she blows the thing out of the water. world war 3!! Then i asked her politely, if you cant reply to the texts, then just let me know your busy, thats all im asking, then i will just talk to u later. then for some reason, me saying that just made her a fire breathing bitch. I dont yell usually, its pointless and immature. I guess i just cant ask her ANY questions because then she thinks im implying tat shes cheating on me or that i ask too many q's. I know it was a long read ^ Sorry, But it shows you that the smallest thing can turn someone crazy. It sucks, Because shes very belittling, yells at me, makes me feel like crap, and to make matters worse, i suffer from depression, and sometimes just cant take it, and the tears just come. i cant control it and feel like a pussy, but she just has to take it easy. its been amazing with her but this past couple of weeks i dont know.. its as if shes looking to start shit. or she always thinks im trying to start something even though im just making conversation. Its sad, and im very sad. because i honestly love her and cannot picture living without her. i just think we need some time apart. just do our own things and see eachother a bit less.. (In the end im a good guy,i treat her well, shes a good girl, we share many of the same qualities). maybe then she will value me more.. i dunno. if not then it sucks and i gotta move on. please only real advice, no bs :(
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 June 2010):
You realize that neither of you trust each other at all. This is why being open and showing each other texts, emails and such never works. If a person is insecure and doesn't have trust, then it won't matter if you take a lie detector test. They'll still be insecure. You seem like a nice guy, but I get the feeling that you're not looking at this girl for what she is. You claim she's a good girl. Good girls don't behave in this way at all. She's making you depressed and unhappy. She screams at the smallest thing. She doesn't seem to bother replying you unless she's shouting. She belittles you. Come on, man. Look at what you've written. She's the original spoilt brat. She'll never value you, at all. She doesn't now. Spending less time together won't suddenly make her change. She is a nightmare. You need to move on here. You're wasting valuable time with a woman who just sounds like a headache. You can do better.
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