A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm 24 and my gf is 23..The thing is recently i failed in my recent examination to get into my final year at my university..It was really depressing and demoralizing as i have truly burnt the midnight oil for it..however slowly i've recovered from it but still i have something that's bugging me...my gf wants to get married as soon as i graduate and get a job, but due to the failure it looks like that dream has to be postponed by about 6 months and that is considering if i make it in my 2nd attempt... however i have this fear in me that she might leave me for what has happened. Even though she promised that she'd wait forever for me, but that fear still lingers in my mind.i know women tend to want to marry someone with a career and having failed this time has traumatized me pretty badly that i fear i might fail again.. My girl friend has completed her course and is about to start work..she might have to work far away. Thus i might not be able to see her everyday...will she be faithful? will she really wait for me? i can't afford another break up as the last one was to painful to bear..plz help me..
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry what i meant about the previous break up was with someone else...was too hurt when it happened last time.. i gez mayb i am a bit too negative..yeah considering what has happened, it becomes difficult to think positive at a time like this...u somehow get the feeling that u might fail again n starts to think that she might feel insecure about her future and might just ditch me...by the way thanx everybody..=)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 May 2011):
 Lets just put it like this, if the woman truly wants to marry you, but ditches you because you've failed an exam or you have to wait 6months to one year to get married... Then she really wasn't that into you in the first place and the marriage wouldn't have lasted.
In life you deal with things, things happen, things don't go as planned. If she can't handle a small bump then she certainly isn't ready to get married. Because in life you will deal with far bigger problems that this! Are you going to have to worry she will leave you each and every time things don't go as planned? If so, she's not the one for you.
But Im thinking this fear isn't related to a realistic chance of her actually leaving you. You're just bummed out about it, disappointed in yourself, you wanted to get married too, and now you have to wait, and everything is looking black.
To me, an engagement, or promise to marry, is just as important as getting married itself. You promise something to someone. That takes a bit of dedication. If she was not faithful to you she wasn't committed to you, if she didn't want to wait for you she wasn't committed to you. What you need in a future wife is someone who is committed to you! If she isn't, then the marriage, or relationship, would be doomed anyway.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (11 May 2011):
 talk to her, but stop being so negative. you have your degree to worry about which is more important to YOUR future than she is. even if you get your degree you cannot know how your relationship will pan out in the future, but what you can know is that studying and putting in loads of money has gotten you this far and you need to retry and push for it and get rid of that fear of failure (possible self sabotage vibe that i may be wrong about).
she is important to you but really YOU should be the most important thing to you. have a little faith in yourself and good luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2011):
 You'll have to ask her; no use asking us, we can only make a guess- and not even an educate one, because we don't have background infos.
For instance, my instinctive response would be : of course she will wait for you ! If she loves you, why should not she wait for 6 more months ? What's the difference between getting married at 24 , or at 25 ?
BUT- there might be more to the story. You say you broke up before, and while surely this is not a crime or an indicator that you can't be happy together, well, are you sure you have resolved all your conflicts ?...How come you are talking of getting married soon, yet you are so insecure about her feelings and loyalty ? Isn't it a bit in contraddiction ? ... Did she by any chance put as a condition for getting back together, that you 'd promise to finish college on time ?...
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