A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi. ive met this girl and we get on great and i really like her. the problem i have shes just recently come out of a long relationship. it ended because he slept with someone behind her back. that was a while ago but she took him back but she sed it was never the same so theyve broken up.shes been really honest with me to be fair. she told me she really really likes me but she said shes afraid to go out and do things with me incase she did get back with her boyfriend and then i would get hurt. she has told me that she doesnt want2 get back with him, but its hard to get over him cos it was her first bf and so on, which i can understand.im supposed to be taking her out later, i dont know how i should play this one. i really like her, shes really honest and nice. i can relate with her situation cos i was with someone for a long time too and got hurt, so i know wot she means by it being hard to get over him.if i thought i was setting myself up for being like a rebound guy id get straight out of this but i know thats not the case and i can tell she does like me.she also told me that she thinks the reason she didnt stop textin him and meeting him after breaking up with him was because she hadnt met someone else that she likes. she also told me she wants to tell him to F off but feels bad, so she keeps texting him.any advice as to wot i should do would be really appreciative!ive only known her for a few weeks so its not like its serious between us but i could see myself falling for her and dont know if i should.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CCC +, writes (11 May 2008):
Hi, I think that honesty is really key in this situation. If she can be 100% honest with you and open up about how she feels, then you have no reason to question whether she will get back together with her ex.I had exactly the same situation with a girl, and it led to me getting really emotionally involved and getting hurt. Just keep an open discourse with her about how she feels and you should be able to notice if her mind is elsewhere. The one thing that would worry me is the fact that she can't stop herself from texting him. That has to stop in my opinion. Let her know, subtly that you are unhappy with her texting him... as this can only lead to problems in the future.In order to move on and be 100% committed to you, she has to stop talking to him, as everytime she texts him, it will bring back feelings and memories that she has for him. Try to keep it in perspective and try to play it cool. Good luck :)
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