A
male
age
30-35,
*pitcher
writes:Alright so let me explain the situation. My first love, girlfriend of 2 years has been great to me and to be honest she has put up with a lot of my bull. We were great together. In the first week of the relationship i cheated on her with another girl. I had never told her because i was afraid of losing her. About 8 months ago i had started messing around with cocaine. i have gone to detox and all that stuff and now i have over 30 days clean. yet from this i was angry a lot of the times and for the past six months we fought like no other. yet i cheated on her with one of her friends during my using period. about a week ago she found out and i lost her? I know i have put her through a lot but i want to be able to make it better i want the chance to show her she is the most beautiful girl. Yet she has not forgiven me and im not sure she ever will. Her mom is single to this day because her ex cheated on her and she is telling my ex that she never forgot it so now my ex girlfriend has it in her head that she will never forget what i did. I have been sending her letters, flowers, chocolates everyday to show her i am sorry. I am just wondering what i should dohow can i win her back
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male
reader, confused2007a +, writes (9 April 2009):
Congrats on kicking the cocaine. You also need to kick the cheating. There is little you can do to hurt someone than to break their trust like that. Don't contact her, fix yourself, then try to get her back. That is your only chance.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): You are going to have to just give her some space to work all of this out in her head. As long as you have told her that you are sorry, that you love her, and that you want her back thats all you can do. I would tell her that you understand that she needs this time to work it out and that you are giving here her space. But that you will be here waiting for her when she is ready to talk. You have to admit, this is alot for someone to deal with and she has to get past the hurt before she can start to heal and work it out in her mind. I am glad to hear that you kicked the habit though, congratulations on that. I wish you luck, let me know how it goes or if you need someone to talk to you can always PM me.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (9 April 2009):
 let me start off with congradulations on getting through that. when you cheat on a girl, its true she can never forget. from personal expierance i could not be with a guy who cheated on me. if you two did get back together it would be hard for her to trust you, and that wouldnt be a good relationship. im sorry to say this but if you tried all the tricks in the book it moghy not work. you should try and sit her down and explain that it was the drugs and you wouldnt have done that were you sober(im assuming). try and have her understand that you love her and that you wouldnt do it again. you have to understand that you would have to earn her trust back. maybe even have to start out as friends again.
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A
female
reader, psychologystar  +, writes (9 April 2009):
I think it's amazing that you've got through all your problems and have realised how badly you treated your girlfriend. I really commend you for that.
Unfortunately, I don't think your girlfriend will forgive you. This may sound harsh but it might be better for you both if you moved on. Better for you in that you could then just leave that entire period of your life behind and start again. Also, don't you think she deserves a chance to be with someone who really loves her and treats her well? If you truly loved her, you would want her to be happy. Even if it's not with you.
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