A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 4 years and I have a huge disconnect regarding our careers.He wants a short term job with a lot of flexibility.. basically it means no benefits, pay as you work, no pay when you don't work kind of job.I want stability, good medical benefits coverage, and a 401K retirement plan.I'm currently seeking new employment and have been offered two positions. One is closer to home, but I will be working for a Temporary Agency. Pay is higher, single role no stress, but no stability and no medical benefits or 401K Retirement Plan. The other position is further away from home, good (but not great) pay, is a full time permanent position with 100% employer paid medical insurance, and a matching 401K plan, and Flex Spending account. However, I will be managing an entire department and will have significantly more responsibilities. While I'm weighing out my options, my boyfriend's only input was that I should take the temp job because it pays more and it's less work. I argue that I seek a challenging position rather than higher pay... I just don't like the distance I have to travel to work every day.My boyfriend clearly does not see eye to eye with me... it upsets me that every time we talk about careers, he looking at money and less work the better. It upsets me that he is OK with just random part time work with no stability. I truly do not understand why he needs so much flexibility... Do you think this will be a bigger issue in the future?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2018): Personally I would look at which of the two jobs has the best career prospects. I figure that if I work hard while I’m young and healthy then I will be able to retire young and not have to keep working until I’m 100 years old. I also prefer to have some security and know that if I suddenly get sick my medical costs will be covered. I still enjoy my free time, and I don’t do a rediculously stressful job. I do think that in the longer term, you might get frustrated if you feel that your boyfriend isn’t pulling his weight. A relationship is a team effort.
A
female
reader, LovelyLo +, writes (24 May 2018):
This will only become an future issue if you allow to be. Queens stand behind their kings! Support him as you would want him to support you and your goals. If you find this a deal breaker, then time to let him go. You cant control someone on what to do because it's not what you like
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2018): Yes, He will be having way more spontaneous fun than you, he will be living in the 'moment' not even thinking about old age. I could see quite a few problems here, if he wants to sail the world with his quick money in his free time,that I hasten to add he works for, you won't be able to go, until somebody tells you that you can.Lighten up sweet insecure lady, nothing in life is solid, and every physicist will tell you this. Life is to be enjoyed in the here and now! for who knows what the future may hold, for any of us. Flexibility is a good thing, it means your mind is open to new possibilities, you adapt quicker, you solve problems, you face challenges.I have a good career, but will only have a flexible working life my choice, it pays me well enough to be sat here, on a six week break in a beautiful part of the world. Sat in a motor home,3,000 miles down the road, I don't know from day to day where my next sleep over will be. Every day has brought a wonderful new adventure, because I am flexible.Old age does not concern me, for I don't intend to arrive there for quite a long time yet, and need no road map for that one.It should not concern you, the way your boyfriend views less work more pay, that's challenging in it self actually achieving it. Sometimes opposites attract and make good.Those that rely on stability too much, can end up completely wrecked if things don't go as they have neatly planned. I hope it does work as you plan, but don't forget the here and now and enjoy life!!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 May 2018):
 Personally I don't think you should allow it to upset you. I mean it is his life and his choice what he wants to do for a living. However it is also your choice which job to take. Take what job suits you more and not what your boyfriend would do. But you also need to realize that he thinks differently to what you do and you need to think long and hard about that before you commit to him long term. Personally for me it wouldn't be an issue what my husband done as a career, but it sounds to me like you want someone who has the same career goals as yourself so you need to ask yourself if you can live with him being who he is.
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