A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and I have been engaged for 7 months now. We have been together for 3 years and haved lived about all but 9 months of those 3 years together. When we first met I told her I had every intention of moving back home (1800 miles away) soon as work permitted. So with a heavy heart 11 months into the relationship I moved back home. I wanted more than anything for her to join me. Over the course of 9 months back home we saw each other very frequently actually. About every 3-5 weeks. Well I just couldnt take being apart and she was tied to her area with her job (which she loves and had refused to leave) and I moved back. I completly dislike where we live hence my reason for wanting to leave and it is no secret that this is a temporary area for us to live. We are engaged to be married in April and I am petrified that this is the correct decision. We love each other very much but I just dont know if it will work. Its a bit like the odd couple. I am obsessively tidy and everthing must be in a specific order. I know this is a bit unrealistic at times but its just how I am. I am 33 and have lived alone up until this. She is 29. I am also very, well frugal and excellant with money and have no debt and a nice savings. Where she on the other hand made some credit mistakes as a youth and has bad credit and a couple student loans. I have always prided myself in handling money and the prospect of taking on someone elses debt (albeit no huge amounts) just irks me. And it makes me wonder if I will always be irked. It seems I also am the main contributer to running the household,i.e. paying the bills, doing the cleaning. Although she has gotten much better over the 3 years. I love her and I dont want to upst her Im just not sure. The only arguments we ever have are about trivial things really. I love spending time together however we are both pretty independent people and when apart I hate to say I just dont miss her that much. I dont know what to do!?!?!?! Any suggestions? Thanks for reading.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008): No, I don't think anything is wrong. You are your own person as is she. Everyone is different and face it, opposites attract.
Alone time is good, if you both agree to it and are happy with one anther's separate times. A bit of space is healthy and you should not feel guilt for enjoying it or not missing her.
So long as you know in your heart that you love her everything is perfectly fine.
I agree that you are just a bit stressed out - don't worry! Everything will turn out well.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to add. I do miss her when we are apart its just that I am also happy alone. I love her and want us to spend the rest of our lives together. Maybe Im just stressed about the actually wedding and plans and all?
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