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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am a married woman who is in love with a married man. He loves me too. We have been seeing each other for 3 months and have fallen completely for one another. The times we are apart are spent longing for the next time we can be together. And we haven't even been intimate! Do we even stand a chance?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): Nope. No chance. You're both married and cheating on your spouses.Your choice is for both of you to get divorced - and then you can be together - IF you can stand your sense of guilt over your betrayal, that is.OR recognize that what you are doing is wrong; end it now and go back to trying to make a better go of your marriage.
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (4 September 2006):
 Well I guess that depends... are you both going to come clean to your partners and tell them you have someone else and then make a go of it.. or are you going to carry on seeing one another on the side ? If its the latter then they seldom work... there are a lot of lives here at stake 2 already comitted relationships and 4 people that could all be hurt. You need to work out what you want first before you can even begin to see if you stand a chance. Have you talked this over with your married man ? What does he want ? Does he want a fling and thats it ? or are you both wanting the same thing, to leave your partners and make a go of it ? If you do the right thing and come clean and end two marriages, then I guess you may struggle to get this to work unless you are really sure of one another, what I mean is, you are both married, both capable of cheating, so can you really ever be together happily ? Say it all panned out great... will there not be any doubt surrounding it ? you are both capable of straying already, would you be confident that you wont do it again when things get a bit a stale ? It seems that you have looked outside the marriage to the arms of someone else for a comfort, when you maybe should have spoken with your respective partners... Things can get a bit dead pan in a long term relationship, and they need work to strive for change and growing together, but the answer isnt always looking outside to see what sparkles.. Perhaps you felt you lacked something in your marriage and rather than try and fix it you looked elsewhere for the buzz and excitement of something new ? I dont know you or your marriage, only you will know that part, but what is it that drove you to the others man arms ? And whats to say what went wrong in this marriage wont go wrong again later on for the same reasons. You need to work out all of this for yourself, i cant tell you if you stand a chance or not, but you really need to take a long hard look and see what it is your doing, so far it seems that something new came along and you have been swept up with it... maybe see if your marriage is really that dead before you take the leap... you also dont really know if the problems you have in your marriage or maybe you dont have problems, are the same in the other guys marriage ? I doubt you are both looking elsewhere for the same reason ? For all you know the guy concerned has no intention of telling his wife and is enjoying the excitment of doing something he is not meant to be doing ? You need to ask all of these things and look deep inside here to whats really happening before you go headlong into something. The grass is not always greener on the other side!!
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