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female
,
anonymous
writes: My bf (S) and I went out briefly at the end of last year, but it was unsuccessful and pretty messy, as he needed to sort his head out. At about the same time as this relationship, my best friend (J) of 4 years started drifting away from me. At the time I was pretty wrapped up in my relationship as I loved S to bits, so I took J's unusual behaviour as jealousy of S, as I had always been very very close with J (We were pretty much lovers who didn't engage in sexual activities) and S was my first serious relationship. It wasn't until it was too late that I realised I had lost J as a friend forever, as we could no longer communicate with eachother. My relationship with S had ended and I was distraught, as i still loved him but knew he had never loved me back. J was hanging out with a different crowd and had a complete change of image, and what seemed like a personality transplant to go with it.7 months have passed. In this time S has sorted his head out, we got back together in June and have been going strong since. He loves me this time, I know this because the way he looks at me is the way that I look at him. Sounds kind of cheesy, but that's how I know. J dips between my friendship group and her new friends. She's evolved into a really horrible person; manipulative, vain, shallow and generally a bit of a bitch.I was talking with S the other day about my friends. I mentioned J and he said she was a bitch, but he also admitted that when we were going out 1st time around they were flirting with eachother online. This I expected from him, as his heart really wasn't into that relationship, but it was a shock when all of J's strange behaviour fell into place. I remember one time at the end of school, she had already got onto the schoolbus, but when she saw me and my bf were outside the gates she actually got off the bus to come and give me a hug and say hi to him. At the time i thought this was her being clingy towards me, but now it all makes sense. This was also the turning point of her behaviour, the first signs of her being selfish and manipulative. I'm really quite sickened by all of this. Mainly because she is still trying to play games with him. S told me that she came in to his workplace with her own bf and run up to S, jumping into his arms and giving him a kiss. I'm not really sure what to do about all this, and whether to do anything at all except try to avoid letting her anywhere near him. I've already said something to J about her hugging and kissing him but i approached it in an innocent way, and she got very over defensive and nervous about it.Sorry this is such a long post, my brain is working overtime right now xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): Well perhaps J isn't worthy of being one of your or your boyfriend's friends any more. Maybe the two of you should make a joint decision to discard J.
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