Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shani08  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Dont worry about birth defects the chance of your babe being born with a disability is double the normal percentage but the percentage for people who are not related is 2% so it would be 3 - 4% for you. I wouldnt even worry about it just have faith and do what makes you happy.xo
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): I fell in love with my cousin when we were young but because our love was forbidden, we never married. we both married other people but believe me we still see each other and therefore cheat on them. Please go on love marry each other and have children. Birth defects can happen to any baby. It is also advisable to talk to your gyn/ob
wish you well
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): I have been with my cousin (1st) for nearly 6 years, both our families know and where i live in the uk it is not illegal and cousins can marry.
The risk of a birth defect is 1% higher than any other couple. The risk only gets higher if you had a kid and that kid got with their cousin etc and so on. (believe me ive seriously looked all this up)
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A
female
reader, jada101  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Good luck on your preg..... im 16 week perg... myself but not with my cousin. But to tell you the truth you should be ok.. Even if you have a baby with somebody that's not family. Somthing can still go wrong or nothing can happen.. So just go on with your preg like every other woman that are preg.. Stop thinking bout what can go wrong start thinkin bout who eyes the baby is goin to have? Is is boy or girl? Who he or she gonna look like more for get bout the defect thing( what are you going to name the baby) me and my boyfrind are still thinking. I have a little gril named angelina...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy family are fine with it they have gotten used 2 it and dont have a problem i dont care if people judge me im not going to gve up my happynes 4 close minded church preachers who clearly dont understand the meaning of love and so what if he is my 1st cousin were happy together and dats al dat matters society wil jus have to get used to it coz i clearly dnt car! My family love me and have acceptd our relationship it took awile but tings have workd out fine
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A
female
reader, lonesum dove +, writes (1 April 2010):
 morally its not right... but my ex sister in law was marry to her 1st cousin for over tens years, they had two beautiful smart inteligent boys, one in college and the other is in his last year of high school, I am not saying that is believe in cousin marry each other, to each its own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice im so glad people arent close minded and didnt judge us. Im pregnant now and so far so good. Im havin test at the d mo tanks guys
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): Well you might need to see a medical professional about that. But do you think that this is reallythe right decision? This is for life. I'm not trying to judge u but i want u to really think about what your about to do. You are thinking about having a child with a family member. That is greatly looked down upon. What do ur folks think about this? Ur young and there are plenty of peopleout there who u can connect with on a significant level, those whom u are not related to. Do u really want to risk having a baby that will have birth defects, think of the child. Alos think about what a hard time u and your cousin are going to have with the judgement of ur family members and society. Its not like a biracial relationship where only some people will find it disturbing. And u really should consider your families concerns about the matter also because no matter what u do they will always be your family.
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A
male
reader, twistedelm +, writes (26 March 2010):
Im not in the mood to judge you. Society has that problem plus many other problems. I hear you when you say bells ring when the two of you are together. This is the way people are suppose to feel if they feel loved. As far as any problems-with babys-alot of info is on the web. -I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (25 March 2010):
Well just get to a doctor for advice; perhaps a genetic specialist. I also have two relatives who are first cousins who married and had children. Their first child is perfect but the next two are autistic and cannot even speak. They communicate with grunts and are often violent. One of the two occasionally develops benign tumors. They both suffer from endless infections; coughs, flus etc. While this can happen to any normal couple too, I can't help thinking it must have something to do with their close genetic relationship. I'm sure there are lots of success stories but its just better to go for genetic counseling to rule out any possible problems.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe cant get married in ireland bt weve talked about it 4 our future!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 First-cousin marriage isn't a surefire recipe for congenital defects.
True, marriage among close kin can increase the chance of pathological recessive genes meeting up in some unlucky individual, with dire consequences.
On average, offspring of first-cousin unions have a 2 to 3 percent greater risk of birth defects than the general population, and a little over 4 percent greater risk of early death.
The problem isn't cousin marriage per se, however, but rather how many such genes are floating around in the family pool.
If the pool's pretty clean, the likelihood of genetic defects resulting from cousin marriage is low.
reference:-
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2564/whats-wrong-with-cousins-marrying
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (25 March 2010):
 its unlikely, just eat right and take care of your self, im just curious if you love this guy so mutch why arent you married
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): My mom's parents were first cousins and I'm here to let you know that in their case all things turned out okay and they had a boy and a girl.
The probabilities are low but to be sure see your OBGYN to know for sure as the baby is developing.
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A
female
reader, ForeverDawn +, writes (25 March 2010):
 The chances of your baby having some kind of birth defect is 4%. 2% higher then any ordinary couple! Do your research and don't listen to people that have no idea what they are talking about Get FACTS not opinions I have an uncle who married his first cousin and they have 4 perfectly healthy kids!!! I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you!!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (24 March 2010):
Yes, having a child with your 1st counsin definitely increases your chances of it having a birth defect. That is why in many places incest is illegal. When you have a child with a relative it increases the chances of defects because you carry similar genes, so if you both carry a certain defect in your genes, it increases the chances of your child having that defect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): If you are worried about birth defects, have you considered being tested? As I understand it (and I could be wrong, I've never been great at biology), birth defects occur from relationships between marriage only when both people already possess the gene - for example, both the mother and the father have the gene for hemophilia - and their shared blood makes that shared gene more likely. If neither of you had the gene to start with, your baby won't have it just because you're related.
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (24 March 2010):
The only 99% safest way for you to have a normal child would be IVF with PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) of the embryo before its implanted in your womb. Its the same test for couples who have certain defects in a previous child or relative and they want the next baby to be ok. While there may be a very good chance that your baby will be normal, its probably not a good idea to take the chance and be stuck with a baby with birth defects.
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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: