A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together just under a year (10 months), and I've just found out I'm pregnant. It wasn't planned, we're using contraception. We both have decent jobs and live together... But I'm worried as to whether we're going to survive this... We have a very strong relationship and are very happy. But I'm fully aware a baby changes things, everyone I know who has children were together years before they started a family, and even they struggled as a couple at times. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 There's no telling really...relationships are tricky and a baby is a stressor that can either divide two people or bring them closer. What decides that is whether or not you two are willing and ready to work on this. A pregnancy after ten months is a tough situation to face...Is your boyfriend open to the idea of children? From what you wrote, I'm guessing that you want to keep this child. Have you told him you are pregnant? If so, what what was his reaction?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): My partner and the father of my child had been with me just three months when I got pregnant accidentally. There were huge repercussions, and a lot of emotional fallout, but in fact we are still together, our daughter is now nearly three years old, and despite everything, I think we are happy. It was a bit of a rollercoaster, to say the least, as he had also been not 100% honest about his previous relationship - marriage - in which he also had young children, but we seem to be getting there. The dust settles after a while.
You are in a much simpler set up all together. No ex/not ex wife, no other children to consider, together 10 months not 3, and very happy together! This is all great, and I think you will continue to be very happy. Of course you have different challenges and pressures as parents, and it can bring out the worst - but also the best - in you. Of course you feel different when you have a poorly baby who won't sleep and they have been sick on the floor as you didn't make it to the bathroom and at that moment, at 4am, feeling under fire, you need a mate, a friend, your best buddy, to not complain, not criticise, and to get through it with you, and then soon it is all cleared up, and the three of you snuggle up together, and you both lie either side of your baby and stroke his/her soft hair, and little cheeks, and love your baby together, and it is all fine. I can honestly say that I have never known such perfect moments of happiness as when the three of us lie together, and our baby is an expression of the love between us.
That is the stuff dreams are made of, but it is real - a real earthly happiness that those of us lucky enough to have children can feel. Don't fret about this pregnancy - really, it is the next stage of growing up, for both of you, but my goodness, when it is good, it is really good, I promise you : ) Be happy xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): yes your relationship will survive if you love each other.
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