A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is happy to live seperate from me and the two kids and just pop in and stay a couple of nights a week and chat for 5 minutes on phone per night....Am I crazy to think he will ever come back after living the life of a batchelor. And weekend fatherMy husband and I have been together for 9 years and married 3 of those years. We lived in our home that my husband renovated into our dream home. But after , working as self employed , money problems and credit problems slowly crept up on us. My husband started to become angry and would rant and rave or sometimes just would withdraw, mostly he wanted to have a brake( stop running on the tread mill) stating he was burnt out! Then stopped workingHe then was diagnosed with depression.So he decided the best thing to do was sell our family home and get out of debt.Hoping this would help hes depression I went along with it.We sold within 4 monthsSo all our furniture and most of our belongings were put into storage.We moved into my mothers, witch only lasted for a week than my mother and husband had a falling out, so he moved onto hes houseboat.I found a rental property and moved out with our two children, trying to give my kiddes the most stable family environment, thinking and hoping my husband will move back, but he hasnt.After this weekend visit, I become mad after a argument and said "this isnt want I want , it isnt working for me living seperate, I want a divorce and just ignored me and went outside and played with the kids!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): Hi, thankyou for your response,
Yes my husband is happy with hes own space,
the stresses of our everyday life, he just cant handle.
Or just doesnt want too, because then he will have to return to society and support us.
But the coming and going when he chooses isnt good for me or the children, I dont want them to think this is the norm for families to live like that.
The kids just adore him, and I, but when is it enough, to say enough, to give him that wake up call.
Ive always been a little co -dependant, and in relationships thought i could fix the problems,
but this cannot. Just want him to snap out of it. But depression doesnt work like that!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2011): i think that you should expect some sort of respect now after showing understanding and love when you gave your husband the space he needed. You supported him during hard times and it has to be said it really is so so stressful for many right now. People with depression do push loved ones away. But you have been kind and although yes its hard for him, you are in this relationship too and deserve love and understanding. You have been a fantastic mum and maintained stability for your kids. He needs a wake up call, has he grown to like having the part time life? Put yourself first for once, tell him what you want and if he cant give it to you. You must decide if you can wait untill he decides. However this may never happen love and you need to live too. Good luck x
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