A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have a question to ask. Recently my girlfriend and I broke up. We were best friends for 2 years before we got together. She said she liked me as soon as she set her eye on me but overall we were best friends first. Talked about everything, didn't hide anything, just overall truthful thoughts. When we got together we were dating for a year and I believe 3 months before we broke up. This is the thing though, I'm just confused. She broke up with me and I said "ok sure we can breakup that's fine". However she kept talking and promised me we'd be back together. She said she still feels the same about me and it hasn't changed, she swears. We've been best friends for years so I know she isn't a liar to me. We talk constantly through the day too. Text each other a lot through the day, call each other. Have fun, we do that a lot. It doesn't change with us. She said she needs some space to "live life". She's met some new friends and she didn't have any for a while so she's having time to do that. However she said that she's taken with me, still lets me be known as her bf to others, she said that I'm still hers too. She also still gets extremely angry when other girls make comments about me. Say they think I look great, she gets mad at that and upset. She worries about me constantly too. The other day I left my phone in my car for an hour and 30 mins and she couldn't contact me. She called 35 times, called her grandma and freaked out, left 3 voice mails and kept IMing me. It was crazy. Overall she says she doesn't care what people thinks but she will be back with me. She promises on our friendship after I said that to her. She even still calls me dear like before. She's also not a sexual person or likes anyone else. She hates relationships but loves me and wants to be with me. What should I do? Do you think she'll end up getting back together with me? Your opinion that is. Thank you for your response. I'm just confused. I hear all these other stories about gfs saying other things and not getting back but idk. I trust her, I really do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Hello, I'm the guy that just posted the question. Let me add onto this topic. I didn't post as much as I could have in the beginning because I had to leave but now that I have time let me post more. See, when she meant "live life" she didn't mean go with other guys. She meant she wanted to enjoy life such as meeting new friends, hanging out with people more, spending more time with her family, finding out some interests(like arts, sports). Things like that. Before she didn't have time to live life but now she can. She's just a different type of girl. She says she's asexual so that doesn't bother me with the sex and all. Everything's just different than with my other gfs. With her it feels like she's actually one of the "good ones". I know you have heard it all before and trust me I've seen some of the bad ones too but this actually feels that way. I actually brought up the possibility of her leaving me before but she has always said "After our history, our feelings and all we've shared and who you are I'd never do that. I'm not one of those stupid girls who left you and hurt you. i'm not like them"Things are just idk confusing really. Thanks for your response. Any help is fine :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Forgive me if I am wrong, but it certainly sounds like she is trying to get the best of both worlds -- the guarantee that you will always be there as a backup when her 'living her life' plan fails. Perhaps she is still attached to you now as she hasn't been taken aback by other guys, but what happens when she finds someone she fancies more? All bets are off and you will be left destitute.Best plan is to have a mutual agreement. If its a quid pro quo arrangement, then let it be known that you want to 'live life' too and enjoy the company of other women. I think that is only fair to both people.
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