A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's my situation, about three months ago, after my last visit to my girlfriend, we were having problems. She would say to me that she was "confused" and not sure if this was the direction that she wanted to take in life, which basically meant pursuing a relationship with me. We were in a long distance relationship so we managed to see each other every 2 months and we talked often on Skype daily when we were away from each other. I was also younger then her by 8 years but that never bothered her because she never said one thing about our age difference and we were together for over a year. She also had a daughter and I was fine with that. Fast forward three months later and she's in a new relationship with somebody new that she met while being involved with me. They started out as friends but as soon as I was out of the picture they got closer. Apparently they started dating only days after she ended things with me. Knowing this has really hurt me deeply and I can't seem to heal from this. But regardless i'm sure A LOT of time will eventually make me feel better. I was wondering is there any chance she was just confused and was scared in pursuing a relationship with me, or does she actually feel this way? Basically I'm just wondering what she meant by her being confused, would she come back to me in the future? I just don't understand how someone's feelings can change so quickly in just a few days.
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female
reader, Tine  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 getting over someone takes all different periods of time, you obviously care for her alot and thats why after 3 months, the feelings are still very raw.
You should just try yourself to get on with it, and you're definitaly right, if she comes back to you it should be that she truly wants to. Maybe time apart from you, will make her realised what shes lost.
Get yourself out there, and try not to care what she is thinking or doing, look out for number one - yourself - because its what shes doing
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVery true I really don't want to be that guy, IF she ever comes back I want her to come back because she desperately wants to be with me. I still do care about her, but it just hurts that she doesn't show any kind of emotion towards me, except hate. It's all very confusing even three months after the breakup things don't seem to be clearing up.
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A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (6 December 2010):
maybe she does value your friendship, as it seems that you really do care for her although please don't mistake this for her wanting to get back together with you.
Either that or she wants to keep you on stand-by incase things don't work out between her and her new boyfriend however do you really wanna be that guy who just waits and waits on something that may never happen?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea it's clear that she really doesn't respect me even though she says she does. But her actions tell me something completely different. I don't understand why she still wants to be friends with me if she clearly feels this way.
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A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (29 November 2010):
maybe she has been feeling like this for a while but just didnt have the heart to tell you. If she has moved on then i think maybe it's time you did too. Maybe she found the distance thing hard, it is not for everyone. I don't know her reasons but even though you love her i think that you should just move on instead sitting wondering if she will ever come back to you.
Even though that probably seems like a hard thing to do right now, you need to make that step like she has. And maybe sometime in the future she may contact you to be friends.
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