A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Having recently come out of a five year relationship where I have just found out she lied and deceived me from day one, where I have just learned she was seeing others behind my back; I was wondering if there will ever come a time when she will look back and think "oh my god what did I do?" Do these kind of women ever think like that or do they just carry on through life cheating and lying?She is 27 so Im guessing it will be some time before she looks at what she's done, if ever. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2012): My GF cheated on her ex for 3 years and now has been totally faithful to me, as far as I can tell. Their relationship was obviously unhealthy for both of them.
Ours is very different. We have been together for 2 years. I will always think she is capable of cheating on me but I don't see any evidence that she is acting like she did with her ex.
She is sorry she cheated. She does not feel bad for hurting her ex (she was not being treated very well emotionally.) But now she thinks her cheating was a lowdown way to handle it when she should have just broken up with him.
A
female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 Someone who is able to cheat and lie for 5 years is very selfish. A selfish person doesn't realize they are wrong, it's everyone else that is wrong. I'm sure she justifies her reasons for cheating and doesn't feel badly for it. I know it's the hope of everyone who is treated badly by an ex, that the ex will realize what he/she lost. To feel like you could possibly get 'revenge' by turning her down when she comes back one day. Or even just to feel like you are great by her saying she fucked up and realizes it. We all want it right after a break up, but it doesn't really happen. Over time you won't care what she's even thinking anymore. These are her issues which she will carry on to each relationship and ultimately ruin them all. One day she may look back on her life and think how it could've gone differently, that she screwed over some good guys, but it's unlikely you will know if she does. Stay strong, you will be the one who ends up happy, and this should make you feel better than anything she could say.
...............................
A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 No she won't. If she does feel any guilt about hurting you she'll twist it around in her mind to convince herself you deserved it somehow.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 November 2012):
 I'm sorry you are hurting so badly but I agree with Cerberus why does it matter what she does if she's your ex?
I know that you want her to call you and say what a fool she was and how stupid she was and that your the best thing since sliced bread... but you do not need her to validate you an to be honest why would the words of a lying cheater mean anything any way.
let it go
put it behind you
move forward and live well.
don't give her a second thought.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lady in Love  +, writes (19 November 2012):
 i hear your agony and sorrow, my boyfriend whom I've loved so hard and so deep for 6 months cheated on me two times, not sexually, but only sugary talking with his exes and yet i left him! you just feel something isn't right when cheating is done and i'm choked that it took you 5 years to see the cheating.
not to blame you, but next time when you love someone for real, when want someone to be yours and yours only, don't give him the time or a bit of excuse to do so!
if i simply forgave my boyfriend for chating with his exes they might have gotten into the next level! now we are not together anymore and i don't regret.
your not with a cheater anymore, its her loss, move on, be happy, and prey her salivation, because believe me,she's even more depressed than you are.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2012): Why does it matter OP? She's gone now. You think it will give you some satisfaction to know she'll regret it? It won't. And she won't. OP cheaters are 100% selfish people that only think of themselves, they don't care who they hurt to get what they want, why would they regret that?
Don't trust anyone who tells you a cheater can regret it that it was a mistake, people make them etc. I have never have, it's the easiest thing in the world to not do. Cheating is not an accident, you don't fall onto a penis. They do it very specifically to hurt other people, no other reason because they know that's what cheating does.
Basically OP she deserves no more of your thought and attention.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (19 November 2012):
 Hi
I would hope so, either that or she has a very lonely life ahead.If she continues to think its ok to treat people with such utter disregard for their feelings.
It takes 2 to cheat and she may just get used by the men who are willing for the rest of her life,or wake up and realise what she is and what she lost when its too late.
Good luck with your life though
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 November 2012):
 If this was her "pattern of behavior" for all those 5 years with you, then no, I'm sorry, I don't think she will not wake up and realize that she was an utter failure as a partner. People like that can ALWAYS justify their actions.. the partner didn't pay enough attention, he worked to much, they just couldn't "help" themselves.... blah blah ..
Now maybe down the line when she meets someone whom SHE loves utterly, and THEY in turn do the same or similar to her... she might realize what she did wasn't right - but I wouldn't hold my breath.
...............................
|
