A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm single. I haven't dated in the dating market because My self esteem is so low and I always have ran to men that have been self centered and have taken me for granted - anyways I always have this issue of living at home- at the moment I am supporting my family member with all the finances that I have and I have no savings because all of it will go to that I don't mind helping out but I fear someone will look at me like I am a loser.I always worry- I work hard and I am trying to stay afloat I have a good corporate job have two degrees but I'm not on my own because I can't financially make it at the moment- will that make me look like a looser? I"m so hard on myself about getting independent but it's so hard Does anyone have any tips on how I would go about dating a man if I don't have a home on my own- I'm a genuine person and often people have made fun of me that I'm not out of my house yet- it's embarrassing but financially any way I calculate it I'm stuck here
View related questions:
living at home, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AnnalisaV  +, writes (29 April 2017):
 Hi,
you know, if you live with a relative because you are looking after them or supporting them, you are proof of how strong and loving you are.
I met my husband when I was 28 and I lived with my dad. I used to feel just like you do now, to the extent that I tried to end our relationship so many times... But he reassured me that, actually, it was the fact that I put my father first that made him feel that I was trust-worthy, that I would look after my husband too, in the hour of need!
We used to go out and I'd sometimes stay at his flat and eventually we decided to get married.
When you find someone who loves you and who you love, when you decide to make a life together, you will work things out :)
Actually, not being able to just take a man into your home will give you a position of power, because you can take your time to get to know him and develop a relationship with the security of having a place to go back to if you decide that it doesn't work.
As for finances, effectively, you are a carer. A decent man will respect that.
It sounds to me like your main need right now is to love yourself a bit more. Observe your life, your choices, your achievements and what is good about you: ie- you live at home= you are caring, trustworthy and dedicated; you work in a corporate job= you are respected for your skills and you can hold a job, effectively, you are financially independent. Are you happy with your job? What are your satisfactions?
Do you take time out to rest and refresh your energy?
Do you spend good quality time with family and friends?
Be happy with your life and love will come :)
Most importantly, make male friends, build connections with people whose company you enjoy, who make you feel good, relaxed, happy.
If a man is selfish, he doesn't need a woman, he doesn't have time to love, so you don't need him.
God bless you with all the joy you deserve x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2017): Dont project yourself forwards to anyone who thinks they have the right to label you as a loser.
Avoid bigheaded people who think they have the right to judge you.
Dont worry about your living situation and just consider it tough luck for anyone who thinks they can undervalue and manipulate you.
You know why you are on your course of action of helping a family member and it is really no-one elses business.
You have true qualities and you dont want to wade through a load of trash to find a diamond.
You will be looking for someone who values you for what you do and who you are.
Dont dip your hand in your pocket too soon because you want someone with the capacity to enhance your life, not a freeloader!
...............................
|
