A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met my now BF almost 8 months ago. At that time I was 'chasing' the hot, popular guys and he was more of a quiet type and never pushed me into anything. We had about 3 dates and I called it quits because I couldn't see that 'spark' with him. I also met someone else at the same time who appeared to be crazy about me....he went all out with compliments, attention and 'fireworks.'So...this other guy dumped me within a a few weeks and I was miserable. I didn't sleep with him, it was just a few dates.All this made me think about what I really wanted and it made me realize that I was chasing the wrong types of guys. So I got back in touch with James and he welcomed me back with open arms.We've been together now for 6 months and I think I'm falling for him. He's the most amazing man I've ever met and I had no idea that a man could treat me like he does. I'm a huge part of his life and he's recently told me that he can see spending the rest if his life with me.A friend of mine however said that I should be careful because I left him once and maybe he'll resent me for that in the future. I don't want to worry about things that may or may not happen but do you think that the fact that I left him once (and mind you, we weren't in a relationship at that stage) will impact on our relationship down the track? James knows there was someone else but that's all he knows....he said that he doesn't need to know all the details. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): Thanks for your opinion.
I'm definitely not settling for him...I've gotten to know the sort of person he is and he's right for me. I was just asking if the fact that I left him at one stage will impact on our relationship down the track...from his point of view, not mine. I'm where I want to be.
Thanks again :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): If I knew you couldn't see that 'spark' with me, then I myself wouldn't be very pleased. Do you see this as a problem for you in the future? If not, perhaps tell him what attracts you to him and what you truly value about him and your relationship, if he raises the issue. In the past, if you had chosen him, you would have simply been settling. Hopefully he doesn't get the impression you are settling now.
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