A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My story is I've been seeing a mm for almost 3 years now. He's been married for a long time now with 2 kids and so he says, they're the only reason he's still at home.We love each other, had breaks away and get together usually 3 times a week and 2 of those consist of a good few hours together on the evening.Had New yrs eve together which we always have done, just says he's going out to wife.We last separated in Sept for about 5 weeks and ended up NC as I could'nt continue and to cut a long story short, we got back together on the basis that he said he would leave home xmas or just after.Now, here we are, just after xmas, and he is saying that he may be posted to another department in his current job and wants to make sure things are ok with that as he wants to make sure he can support me (and his kids) financially and that his boss will confirm if there will be any changes in the next couple of weeks. He also said that if things change with his job, it may mean he will have to review things with us!!! (nearly fell off my chair)On our last meet up he was very on edge that Im about to end things as I made it clear when we got back together that if he never left, I would walk away for good, which Im ready to do.Should I wait until he finds out from his boss what the situation is (which may never happen if you get my drift, his job sounds pretty safe to me) or end things now and go NC.Be so grateful of your thoughts on this one as my heads in a spin.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thanks for the replies for which I've taken on board and plan to finish things in just over a week, even if he says he has'nt heard bout his job, as this could drag on endlessley.
Eddie, I think he meant that if he moves dept. , then he might be worried about either a decrease in salary but I cant imagine it would b much of a drop if he did. I didnt quite understand that whn he did tell me and wished I'd had told him to elaborate.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Why does he have to support you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): I am also in a position where I am trying to ends things with my ex amicably for the sake of my kids however, his story doesn't sound very convincing. You on the other hand sound very convincing that you already know that he is not giving you the commitment that you deserve. The only thing I believe that keeps you going is the few good time you have with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if the good times are all he is looking for to?
Having said that, for your own piece of mind, you waited for him 3 years you might as well wait 2 more weeks but make sure your decision is final if you don't get a commitment. You need to be honest with yourself and you also need to make the commitment to yourself; after the two weeks it is either your way or the highway!
Good luck!
Tony
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 January 2010):
End it. He's not made any effort to leave in three years, and why would he. He has the best of both worlds. Loving family at home with a wife who no doubt runs around after him, and a mistress on the side. End it now, he won't leave her. If he loved you, he would have 3 years ago. Don't be second best.
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Honestly? 1) He is married, you should leave well alone. 2)if he hasnt left in 3 years he is unlikely to do so, and 3) if he cheated on his wife with you, he will cheat on you with the next one.
sorry
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