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anonymous
writes: I'm only 16 but I have been best friends with a guy for almost two years now. In the past we have dated off and on about three times. Currently we are just friends, but I think I want more. I don't want to ruin our friendship either, however we have managed to be best friends before and after our dating experiences in the past. For the most part I think he just wants to be friends, but he flirts on occasion as well. Should I make a move and give it another shot - or will that ruin everything? What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2005): I would encourage you to take things slow.Don't just cornerhim and say,"Guess what?I like you!"...even though that may sound like the easiest way.You need to be subtle about it.Drop little hints here and there or start leaving unsigned love letters in his locker or wherever.See what he says about them,and if his response is good,write one telling him to meet you somewhere to find out who you are.Then ask him out. But the most important thing to do is to take it slow.I was in this situation not too long ago,and I ruined my friendship with the guy because I got on his nerves too much.Take things slow and easy,and hopefully you won't end up the way I did-in tears.Best wishes,SarahSarah
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (13 June 2005):
 Maybe casually ask him on a date and see what happens, if you are as close friends as you say you are then there shouldnt be a problem. If you keep it lighthearted, it will be okay whatever is answer, just keep it like friends, but see if you can knock it up a gear, be calm about it and see his reaction, he may just still wamt to hang out as friends, or he could be waiting to see if you are interested. Keep it sweet, and lighthearted, that way it wont feel so bad if he just wants to remain friends... along the lines of... Hey fancy a hooking up for a one on one date at the flicks ? but say it tongue in cheek, with a sly wink or something.. hope all goes well
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (13 June 2005):
 You have made it this far. You know that it will not ruin you guys's friendship. its too strong to ruin. talk to him about it. ask him if he still has feeling for you and ask him if he would ever reconsider going back out with you. if you believe that you two are meant to be, then you should fight for whatever you believe in. good luck ~Robin~ aka advice gurl. lol
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (12 June 2005):
 I think if you really want to be his friend, you should keep your distance. Don't tell him how you feel it might ruin everything. You can still be best friends, even flirt with him if he does it. What you need to remember is you are a girl you should be waiting for him to make the move,if he feels the same.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2005): I wouldn't recommend making a move on him. But flirt around and jokingly ask him over the phone if he's flirting. If he says yes, then maybe -just maybe- he might like you in that way.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (12 June 2005):
 If you've dated a few times, and you're friends too, I think that he'd already feel confident in suggesting "something more" off his own bat, if he was actually interested.
Since he hasn't made a move himself, I think you can be fairly sure that he isn't bothered about dating further. It might be a bit risky to seem like you're pushing for more than you have, though whether it affects your friendship in the longer term is too difficult to predict with the facts you've given.
If you really feel that you have to do something, why not invite him to a lightweight outing, like lunch or coffee? The way he responds to the invitation - Excited? Hesitant? Nervous? - will give you some guidance about what's going on in his mind without you having to nail him to the wall, breathe heavily on his glasses and ask, "So. Ya wanna date, or what?"
Good luck.
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