A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I met a guy on new years ago through mutual friends and we got on really well. I did not want to swap numbers with him at the time as he was still texting his ex then - turns out now that she was messing him about and he has now completely cut off contact with her. I know this from our mutual friends. I went round to our mutual friend's house last Friday night and we talked about this man (we are all between 23 and 25 years old (me being 23)). Our mutual friend asked me if I wanted the man's number (obviously neither of us had asked the man at this point if that was okay for me to have his number). I said no and told him to text the man and give him my number so he did. The man replied soon after asking if that was my number and our friend told him it was. I have not heard from the man as yet. I added him on Facebook this morning and he has accepted the friend request. It definitely says he is single. It had his number on there too.I am wondering whether to send him a casual text. Our friend says this man is not the sort of guy who would think I was stalking him if I texted him - neither of these men are arrogant, they are both genuinely nice men. Our friend was quite happy to give me the man's number but I refused to take it.I was the one who was first to text the last time I had a boyfriend and it didn't cause any problems. Though I guess the difference here is that this man doesn't know I have his number but he does have mine.I am not nervous about texting him, I would quite happily do so - I am just worried that it will seem a bit weird/desperate me texting him now (I did see our friend and this man last night as they went on a night out together and drove past me and waved). Or should I get our friend to check with this man first if it is okay to have his number and then text him? As I said before, me being the first to text the man didn't cause problems with past boyriends. I am a confident woman who knows what she wants, just not quite how to go about getting it.The man must know I like him as he knew I was at our friends house when our friend sent him my number. If he thought I was desperate/stalking him, surely he wouldn't have accepted my friend request on Facebook?What do you think I should do? Thanks!
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facebook, his ex, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (28 February 2011):
 You are overthinking this. Relax, take a deep breath, and stop worrying.
It won't seem weird or desperate unless you're repeatedly texting him without getting a response. In fact, texting him out of the blue might actually make him like you more.
Send a text, wait for a response. If you don't get one, try again a couple of days later. If you don't get one that second time, he's not interested, stop. Otherwise, feel free to text him whenever, so long as you're getting responses msot of the time.
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