A
female
age
36-40,
*unnymommy2k35
writes:hey guys i need some advice me and my hubby of 9 years split almost 18 months ago now as we wanted different things i was desparate to be a mum and my hubby didnt really want children things took a turn for the worst when we had investigations done and found my husband couldnt father a child naturally things just went on for several years and one night i had a one night stand and caught pregnant!! my husband said if i abort the baby we can carry on but i couldnt.me deparation took over me and i decided to leave him and keep the baby iv now.moved on i met the father of my baby again and we started seeing each other my quetion is i still think and worry about my ex all the time he makes me feel.bad all the time for leaving him will i ever stop feeling guilty and get over my marriage ?? :'(
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female
reader, bunnymommy2k35 +, writes (6 July 2014):
bunnymommy2k35 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx so much x
A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (6 July 2014):
 You say that your ex keeps making you feel guilty, which suggests to me that you're still in contact with him. Cutting that contact would be a good place to start.
It's understandable that you feel guilty for having stepped outside your marriage, but the choice to terminate a pregnancy is a very difficult one and can have lifelong emotional consequences, especially if the mother-to-be makes the decision because of pressure and not her own actual feelings and desires. Had you gone along with the abortion he wanted you to get, you might be suffering from guilt over a lost child instead, especially since motherhood was something you had wanted very badly in the first place.
I think you made the choice that was right for you and your baby in the wake of that one-night transgression and that you are being too hard on yourself now. Time heals many things and the guilt you feel would slowly fade anyway, but perhaps it's time to begin actively letting go of it and realizing that good things came of that mistake, too. You have a child you love and the freedom to find a partner who is more compatible with you, be it the biological father of your baby or someone you meet in the future.
Good luck and best wishes as you move forward.
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