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anonymous
writes: About two years ago I started texting this guy I had met at the local shops just for fun and as friends which I stated to him from the begining and he agreed. It was all as I said for a bit until he asked me to meet him for a small drink one night... I dont know why I agreed but I did and went along.My boyfriend followed me so I didn't go in the pub just sat in this guys car until I knew the coast was clear for me to leave for home. It seemed like about 5 minutes we were talking and he leaned over to kiss me. I pulled away and he said it would be ok, he then climbed over and lay on top of me. I lifted up my skirt and he penertrated me. I didn't say "no" but I felt uncomfortable so I told him to get off to which he ignored me, then I told him to get off again and he did with me pushing him off. This may sound to you like I was raped but I wasn't, I wanted it for a split second I don't know why in hell I did, but I did.Now my boyfriend knows and the relationship has totally messed up. I love him with all my heart and I wish I'd never made this mistake but he doesnt belive me when I tell him how it happened.I want this to work. Am I just in dream world if I think he will ever love me again? Will our realationship ever be the way it was? Oh we have two small children too so even if we just break up we would never not see each other again and that would hurt me seeing him knowing I have lost him for goodI hope this all makes sense!Thank you
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female
reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (30 December 2005):
Show your boyfriend this problem page . You HAVE to get him to talk about it. There is no way that the relationship can move on without dealing with the problem and he needs to know how much you love him and you need to try to figure out why this happened. If all you can tell your boyfriend is " I dont know why it happened " then how it the poor man to have any confidence that it wont happen again
I don't know where you live but if you are in the UK then book some marriage guidance councelling with Relate and consider going to the first couple of sessions alone and try and figure out why you cheated in the first place. I hope you and your boyfriend work things out. You sound as if you really do love him
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