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Will I regret having sex with someone I won't love later in life?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2009) 13 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *tupidcupid369 writes:

So I'm 14 and I know I'm kind of young, but I look more like I'm 18 apparently and I've done everything but have sex, and I've been asked many times to have sex and I've always turned people down, but I kind of want to have sex, but I partly also want to wait for someone I'm in love with. Will I regret having sex with someone I don't love later in life?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009):

Lots of 14yo girls have sex.

Lots of grown women have sex and don't eventually regret it.

But there aren't a lot of 14yo girls who have sex without eventually regretting it later when they're grown women.

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A male reader, SUICIDEVICTIM United States +, writes (13 July 2009):

SUICIDEVICTIM agony auntI dont beleive in love i believe in emotional attachment, The answer to your question lies in why your having sex if your doing it so he will love you then your gonna hate it cause at 14 your probably going to have many more men in your life. if your doing it for fun or out of curiosity then you probably wont hate it so mutch later its up to you but you can meet a man you love and get maried and he can cheat on you so i dont think waiting for love and mariage is a big deal.I feel if your going to loose your virginity it should be with some one your close to that you trust and you feel is diserving not just a random guy. But honeswtly i dont think you will regret it depending on the circumstances. but never sleep with some one cause you love them sleep with them because you want to and alwways be safe and use protection

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A female reader, cadet smiley United States +, writes (9 July 2009):

you never regret sex ,sex is something that every body goes through once in his or her life.Not something tha just comes along .

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 July 2009):

Honeypie agony auntIt doesn't matter how OLD you look. It is how old you really are. Just because you feel older doesn't mean you need to do stuff "older" people do. Like drive a car or vote.. or have sex.

I was 19 and I had know him for 9 months before we had sex, oh yeah we wanted to many many times but I wanted it to matter. To me, to him. And it did. I have absolutely no regrets, I will always think of him fondly. We stayed together for almost 5 years, so there was definitely love there. :) - just not meant to be.

Have self respect, don't sell yourself short, and wait til you are ready. Don't fall for pressure. peer pressure or pressure from a boyfriend. You want the experience to be a good one. Even if he isn't "The One" til the end of time, he will always be "the First". It takes a LOT for a guy to be a good first. He has to respect you. He has to have some self control.

Likebaddogbj said, "14, 15 and 16 year old boys are just not, as a rule, that good at sex." I can't say that I know from personal experience, but I think he is absolutely right.

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A female reader, r_a_w_r1645 United States +, writes (9 July 2009):

r_a_w_r1645 agony auntim the same way. im 14, have been asked fer sex, denied them, and i want it but not soooooo bad. i think ur gonna regret it if u do it with someone u dont like. and i look like im 18 too. haha this one lady asked me if i had a credit card cuz she thought i was 18! hhaha omg. lol.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 July 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntOf course you should wait until you are madly in love with someone. Otherwise what would be the difference between you and a poodle?

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2009):

Starlights agony auntmaybe u will regret it u can never really tell how u will feel in the future.

sex is a bonding act, and something that will remain with u for the rest of your life. ideally a moment you should treasure, so do it with someone who loves you !!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009):

I can't say for certain, but the odds that you will are pretty high. I think you should wait (at least) until you're around 16, and that is if you're in a relationship with someone you love - There's nothing wrong with waiting. You don't hear many people saying they regret waiting, do you?

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (8 July 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntWhat is the rush?

The fact that you are asking suggests that you are not yet ready. So why rush things? Afraid of becoming just to old to have sex if you turn 15?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009):

I'm 20 and I only just lost my virginity to someone I thought I was madly in love with. I do wish I didn't do it now I know 20 is much older but having sex is such a special thing and you have plenty of time to do it. I think you will definitely regret it later in life. Especially if you meet someone you love and to be honest its not a good thing losing your virginity at 14. My best mate lost it at that age and boys come onto her now saying ohhh your a good sh**g and im like shocked. Maybe im prude but its not a nice thing saying ohhh i lost my virginity at 14 its wayyy too young! Make sure you respect yourself and your body and have sex when you are older and when you are in love with someone. Its soo much nicer having sex with someone you love.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009):

I think the first time for everybody is with someone you love, and someone who loves you back. You don't want to do give your virginity to someone who doesn't love you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009):

BELIEVE ME YOU WILL,

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (8 July 2009):

baddogbj agony auntKeep turning them down sweetheart. 14 is too young. You are most unlikely to have a good experience as 14, 15 and 16 year old boys are just not, as a rule, that good at sex. Frankly the most likely outcome is an uncomfortable fumble followed by a few minutes of rather awkward sex which involves him having an orgasm and you not having one. I would think that if there isn't at least the semblance of love between you then you are going to feel rather "used". Unfortunately this brief and likely rather uncomfortable act is likely going to enhance his social reputation and diminish yours. Unfair but that is the way that it goes. Wait.

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