A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with a guy for two years in high school and lasted into my first semester at college. He emotionally abused me and during our relationship, I had a lot to turn on how to be a good girlfriend. But I never cheated nor did I lie! I was just finding it hard to comprehend the fact that I had another person around and I had to take care of him as well as myself. I guess you could say I was pretty selfish, I admit that.Seven months ago to this day, however, he and I broke up. For the second and final time. The first time is a longer and more complicated story. Well, after a month or two of ignoring him and then hooking up with him to have walk away straight afterward and then ignoring him again for another month because he hurt me... again and then hooking up with him... again (it was a never ending cycle). Finally, I was able to walk away two months ago. I haven't seen him, talked to him, nothing. And seven months later, I'm feeling the blood stains he left on my heart. Oh, my heart is healed, that's for sure! But here's the kicker...EVERYTIME. Not every other guy or once in a blue moon, every fucking guy I have tried to get to know after my ex left me bruised and broken on the inside has gone away. After a few conversations in person or what have you, I try to pull just the slightest bit to see if anything can happen... and that's when they all push away 100%. I'm only 19 and I still have PLENTY of time, but it would be nice to have someone around, ya know?I mean, both my ex and I have changed a lot for the better, except he can still be an ass which still brings out the crazy bitch in me. But he doesn't do it as often and I've been able to calm down a hell of lot since we broke up. He's starting at university in the Fall and I know he's going to want fuck anything that has a vagina because he's majoring in Aeronautics and that's just what they do. At least, that's what he's told me and that makes me hate pilots in general.Well, I don't want to wait four years for him to get his Bachelor's from his university because he could be taken by the end of his time there, he could just not want to be with me, and I really don't want to put myself through all that shit! He's hurt me many times before already and I just can't take it anymore! I've literally had enough!Honestly, what can I do with this situation? I'm stuck in a mental and emotional rut. I'm sick of it! Please help!
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (8 July 2009):
 I think it would be a good idea for you to talk with a therapist. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship is hard on the heart and the spirit, and you might have some scars and issues that are preventing you from having a great relationship. I'm definitely getting that you still resent your ex and perhaps other men can see this as well.
Take some time to take care of yourself, and things will turn around.
Good luck.
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