A
female
age
36-40,
*abeen
writes:my ex and current guy i was dating became good friends. i have done something so terrible. i recently came out of a long relationship with my ex and fell in love with someone else.he was a really nice guy he really really was in love with me. he did everything to make me happy.But my guilt almost ruined this relationship .My new guy took care of me and was there for me. He took me to a vacation and there i kept talking about my self and my past relationship instead of hanging out with him i made it all about my self. I was so depressed and he just listened to me and comforted me and was there for me like a friend is. He found messages from my phone to my ex saying that i don't want to be with him and all these people need to get out of our life.Yet all while ex was dating another girl.i really disrespected him, it was a very difficult time in my life but my new guy was still there to help me out. when i came back he kept texting to see if i'm ok but i never even called him once to say sorry and never ever was there for him like a friend is and didn't even call him on his birthday. i asked him to hangout with friends a couple of times or so but he didn't. I went where he works at and he didn't even come say hi. i don't think i can do anything to change his feeling s but i do want to apologize for my behavior and get his friendship back maybe. he recently bought a new apartment and threw a party but didn't invite me. Two months have passed and i called him he didn't reply but i text him saying i'm really sorry for my depressions and crap you had to deal with and thank you soo much for being there for me it was a very difficult time and i really appreciate what you did for me. he sent a nice reply that i'll always be there for you and that he knew i was going through a difficult time and that's it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): Sounds like you needed a shoulder to cry on and he enjoyed the company...was sex involved? Many guys seek out vulnerable women because they know when women are more emotional, that leads to sex.
You have nothing to feel guilty over and you owe him nothing. Maybe turn your attention from relationships and dating for awhile.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (18 November 2012):
 Hi
I wouldn't try to fix it, he responded to your message to say he will in effect,be a friend. Leave it now and let him come to you if he wants to.
He probably felt like you were still hung up on your Ex and definately weren't over the end of the relationship when you went away.He was more like a therapist than boyfriend.He gets this too and why.
I would focus on getting over the 2 of them.Get your emotions in check and do other things to fill your time instead of dating or thinking of how you were with either of them.In time you will be ready to have a relationship but not yet.
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