| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: i'm in my 20's and for the first time ever have fallen for a guy with a girlfriend. he works with me and has been with his girlfriend for a couple of years. i know one of his friends who has told me that he has liked me for a while. i have been emailing this guy for a while and we have receantly started speaking to eachother on the phone. he has told me that he likes me but doesnt know where he stands with me as i have turned him down before and reminded him that he has a girlfriend. he says that he wont finish with his girlfriend unless he knows it is worthwhile and i want to be more than just friends, but i cant promise him anything, even though i like him. i dont want to give him an ultimatum as i dont think i have a right. the last time we spoke i told him to stick with his relationship. i do like him but i dont know whether he WILL break up with his girlfriend and i dont know what i should say to him as im getting fed up and dont want to waste my time with him. what do i do???
View related questions:
has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Well here is a moral dilema if ever there was one; it is possible to love two people at once but ultimately society only permits or finds it acceptable for you to have a relationship with one. The danger of saying yes and encouraging him is that you will carry the guilt of his shattered relationship with you for some time and it could well corrorde whatever you would have.
Having said that; there relationship maybe doomed in any case. Obviously you give him something hes missing in his current relationship and its possible that could, in time, undermine the relationship regardless of your presence or your actions. It's impossible for us to be able to tell.
My best advice is that in situations where a clear (and equally good) case can be made for either course of action then you have to go with your gut. Listern to what its telling you about what is the right thing to do and try and ignore any feelings that might prejeudice it. Sorry I cant be of much help. Take care.
|
