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male
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*ollisterdout
writes: Back in high school I started dating a girl that i thought was the most amazing person in the world. I knew that one day i would definately marry this girl. Which i know is a lot to think about when you are only 16 years old, but I could just tell. Anyways, we dated for about two and a half years with very few problems, arguments, or fights at all. And then they all just started crashing down. I made a few mistakes with other girls, and honestly admit to messing up the happiness that i had felt. To start off, i was her very first boyfriend ever. She was not mine, but it almost felt like she was, that's just how strong the connection was. She was the first person I ever told i loved, and the girl i lost my virginity to, and likewise her. So, I was her first for everything, even as far as holding hands with a guy.After about two and a half years of happiness, i slipped up and cheated on her. She found out and we worked it out, and it never happened again. But from that moment on she always had issues with me. But more so, it seemed like i became controlling because of what i had done, and was always wondering what she was up to. After senior year, i left for the army, and she went to college. That's when i really started questioning. I came to find out that she had been drinking, partying, and going to frat parties all the time, and that made me really jealous and angry. I got real upset on the phone one day and she just up and told me it was over. I was crushed...thinking that oh, this won't last too long...but that's the last time i would ever be able to call her my girlfriend.So, now it's 9 months later, and we do talk every once in awhile, and see eachother too. but its just not the same. She has a boyfriend now. And all i can think about is her, all the time. I'm stressed out, depressed, and really want to just be with her again. We talked for the first time in a month today, and it was really nice. But it just crushes me to not know what i need to do to have a fighting chance. Or even if i do. I love her very much, and just want to be with her. I don't want advice on how to move on, or how to be happy again with someone else....i just want her....is there anything i can do??
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crush, depressed, has a boyfriend, jealous, lost my virginity, move on, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): Give her respect and honesty. You lost that in your relationship. Give it to her now. If you win the respect and trust of her heart she may come back to you. She is doing what she thinks is best for her heart. Encourage her to seek the depth of love. Be the man who loves her unconditionally. Live your life with a light and happy heart knowing you are capable of fidelity and trust. She will see this in you. When you spend time with her stay focused on the future. Invest in each other even if it means encouraging her to explore her current relationship. Love her as she is willing. Over time you may get another chance.
A
female
reader, LiLKiss +, writes (8 September 2006):
 ok lisen..maybe you guys need this. this kind of brake from each other seriously.. you guys were both young when you started to date and you need to explore more before setteling for serius getting married situation.
what you can do if you havent already talk to her.. tell her what you just wrote. and see how she will responde to it.Her respnse will tell you everything, if she gives you some hope that will be good sign but if she tells you that you need to move on then as scary as it is you should even though you love her...we all go through these emotional pains and it feels like the world is going to end but it will get better just have faith. Also why i said that you need to explore is if you are guys ment for each other,and hopefully you get marry to each other, she wont look back and wonder if she missed out anything and you as well. dont know what else to tell you but i wish you good luck and i hope i helped you at least a lil bit. ciao
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