A
female
age
36-40,
*821
writes:Okay so I put a post up a little while ago about how my fiancé and I were taking a break for 6 months. Well last week he sends me an email to tell me that we are over. When we last saw each other we were crying laughing hugging and joking around even though we were breaking up for the 6 months. He gave me a lot of hope that we were going to get back together. He told me he was still in love with me and that he just wants me to work on things on my own. I have started therapy and everything to try and work through things with me mom. Who committed suicide ten years ago. I was really dependent on him and he wanted me to be on my own for awhile. Then a month later he sends me this email saying he didn't see how we could ever work out. I called him and he was very cold and was trying to be strong. I was crying of course and he said. See you are still using me as crutch. Now during these six months we were not supposed to have contact. For me to be on my own. But I broke down and messaged him several times. Part of me feels like I should just give him space and call him in a few months but part of me says I should give up. When I called him after the email he started crying and said he couldn't talk. I asked him if he was okay and he said no I'm not. But its none of your concern. I don't know what to do. He told me he still loves me. Then I asked him if I was ever going to hear from him again and he said maybe who knows. I said what if we lose touch and I cannot find you. He said I will find you. I am so confused. I don't want to give up all hope because we had a great relationship.it was four years and he just proposed four months ago. How do I get a second chance with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): I agree with Tom and believe that your partner wants to end the relationship. This is not going to be the answer that you were looking for as you are in the beginning stages of losing someone. Do not blame yourself as none of this is your fault and it sounds as though you are still grieving the death of your mother as well. He has love for you still and that is why he does not want to hurt you but at the same time he may not love you enough to stay. You need to give him his time and in doing so you need to move on and continue to live your life. Easily said than done. Right now what you are experiencing is a push and pull situation. you are being the pusher and he is being the puller. You are pushing him to stay with you or to atleast give you the reasurrance that he will come back, which he cannot do as he wants to go. The more you push the more he will pull away. You need to make him remember why he fell in love with you. The way to do that is to hold back from calling him and work on yourself, looks, fitness, self esteme but do this for yourself first. Wait for him to initiate contact first. 'If you love someone set them free if they return it was meant to be'. Good luck
A
male
reader, TomWilkinson  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 It really sounds like he wants to end this relationship, but he can't think of a way to do so without hurting you. He doesn't seem to want to just tell you it's over due to your emotional stability. It sounds as if he has suggested a 6 month break (which in itself is a sign he has no intention in getting back with you), it's as if he is hoping you'll just move on and forget about him in this time
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