A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dated this guy about a year ago.he kept saying that is I didn't date hime he would kill himself.so I dated him..it was ok @ first..he bought me nice things and treatd me great.then I told one of my darkest secrets then he told me one of his..then that's when stuff went bad.if we didn't agree with something he would grab me..if I tried to walk away he grabbed my wrist n slamed me against the wall..n then I just hid..he said that if I broke up with him then I tried three times to break up with him..finally I did it..and now he keeps trying to ruin my relationship now..he even has his cousin trying to help n is spreading things about me..n if my boyfriend and I are playing around n he grabs my wrist I freeze up and black out..is there anyway tht I could ever get over this..and how?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): You will get over this but you must start taking care of yourself. Are your current friends aware of what this guy is doing? Is there someone who you can trust to support you as you work through getting away from him? People don't always realise what you are going through. If you allow him to treat you this way, people may ignore whats happening. I have seen others hide the truth from their friends and then isolate themselves without anyone to help them. You need to get a support network and tell yourself you are no longer a victim. You are a worthwhile individual and this person is poison to you. Stay safe though, be careful that you don't end up in situations where this guy can target you and if it happens in a group be vocal about it and walk away. Don't let a situation arise where you are alone with him or his supporters under any circumstances. Find new friends and interests, you are still young and with time, anyone who is truly a friend will realise you needed to get away and if they don't, you didn't need them anyhow.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Wait, you're dating a new guy, but the old abuser is still in your social circle?
*Get rid of him.* Leave and find new friends if you have to, but get the hell away from him.
Recovery is not impossible by any means, and the fact that you are dating a new guy means you have handled yourself very resiliently, but you won't be able to get away from this feeling until he is gone.
Unfortunately, putting up with his abuse as long as you did will only make it harder for him to move on, too. You need to cut off all contact with him, his friends, his family, and anyone else.
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A
male
reader, Ldu  +, writes (30 September 2010):
maybe try talking about it with ur current bf, he will then be mindful of how he plays with you and try to avoid putting you in situations that make you remember the bad times you had with your ex, eventually all those bad images will go from your head especially if your current bf isn't aggressive in a negative manner.
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