A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi um... this isn't very standard for me. I mean, I've watched tutorials and what not, but nothing happens to me in real life. Not physically anyway. And I'm not one to ask these kinds of questions mainly because I've never gone through most of the shit I want to ask about. I know that makes me sound like I'm immature or a chicken-shit but I've never really had a reason to ask these kinds of questions until now.Anyway, a couple years ago, I met this girl online (and I KNOW she's a girl and all that crap) and we seemed to hit it off pretty well. We've actually been dating for a year now (online). She's now 20 and I'm turning 18 at the end of this month. She's going to be visiting me then and we both know we'll end up having sex. She's had two sexual partners already and I've had zero. She'll be my first and we're both completely fine with that. We also know that we're each others "the one".My problem is: As much as I like to talk about sex with her and as much as I watch porn and everything, I can't help but think, "She's had two sexual partners before. Will I even satisfy her? What if I screw something up? Will she continue to talk to me afterward? Will she want to be with me anymore?"I'm a total technology geek who's into the Mac Pros and can read binary, no problem. And she's this drop-dead beautiful, punk chick who's into writing and cooking and classic rock. And I'm not kidding, I do want to spend the rest of my life with her. We can make each other laugh and we share a lot of the same views and we've been told by several of our internet friends that we're pretty much perfect for each other.I guess what I'm trying to ask is: How do I get over my fear of rejection after sex?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
Man, you need to relax, like other posts say. You've got to know her over a long period of time, so this stands a better chance of surviving that most other relartionships. She has experience, so let her guide you. Women need a lot of time spent on them in bed, so just spend time on her, let her guide you and you;ll be fine. She'll let you know what she likes.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (3 October 2009):
 Courage is being scared of something and doing it anyway.
There are no guarantees in life. You'll have things planned out one way and they'll happen the complete opposite way. You'll head right and life will send you left. It's just the way it is. So have fun, take your chances and live...because at the end it's the only way to go!
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (3 October 2009):
dude, you are so lucky... and here's why...
You've been able to recreate the lost art of courting. Probably without knowing it, you've recreated the almost lost process of getting to know someone long distance- really getting to KNOW someone... with out all the superfical bullshit. It sounds like you two know more about each other's inner selves than most people could dream of... this is how my grandparents courted... they used pen and ink, and it was a year before their first face to face date (a dance, don't ask me how grandpa scored that I - I don't want to know!). They were married at 20 and lived to 89 & 92. Amazing relationship.
As for sex - look, she's had two lovers... she's still young, they were probably young. Please do not form too may opinions about sex from porn- porn is fantasy, sex is real. The great thing about two people knowing each other before they get into the sack, is that sex can be a fun and loving event, and you're sharing it with someone you already love... not bumping uglies with some chick you just picked up and all you know about her is that you thought that she'd be shaved down there... you KNOW this woman, she KNOWS you... first time sex is usually awakward, and weird. It takes time to get comfortable with a new lover...
I assume she knows that she's your first... so let her teach you how to please her! That's one of the greatest gifts a lover can give another...!
She's NOT going to kick you out of bed, and she's NOT going to dump you if teh first time is not what you think it should be... RELAX...! You have a woman that loves you for YOU... for your heart, mind and soul. Loving your dick will take some time- but it will happen, because she loves YOU! Loving sex with someone happens when we love that person! Enjoy!
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